The 7th book.

Last night I finished the seventh book. Not the 7th book that most of you are talking about (the last Harry Potter). Instead it was my seventh novel by Douglas Coupland. This last one was Eleanor Rigby and is probably my favorite so far (I have the new one, the first one and Miss Wyoming still left to read). Mr. Coupland tells kind of bizarre stories but uses such great characters that I can't help but be curiously fascinated at their adventures. Eleanor Rigby was written from the perspective of an overweight, middle aged woman and I never would have guessed that the author was male. Normally I prefer to read women writers but this past year I have pretty much only read books written by men.

I've nearly exhausted the library of David Sedaris and now that my Coupland pickings are few and far between (I generally only read used copies that I find at a good price so I'm not entirely in control of my reading shelf) I have switched my attention to Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy, etc.). I mainly only read on the bus so whatever I read has to be the type of book that you are instantly enthralled with or it would be too hard to motivate myself to read rather than blindly stare out the window (an underrated activity I'll have you know). As my friend Greg says, "Oh, Sedaris is perfect for the bus! Except everyone will wonder why you are laughing out loud." Exactly. Coupland was also good on the bus because it easily allowed me to tune everyone else out (which frankly if you have ridden the #12 bus lately you will know what I mean). The only book I have read by Hornby so far is How to be Good which I loved and being how much I adored the movie High Fidelity (and not just because of John Cusack and Jack Black) and enjoyed the movie About a Boy, I have high hopes for the one I started today, A Long Way Down.

The feline Kevorkian

Check this out.

Long time no blog.

Yep, I haven't written in awhile. Frankly I just haven't been in the mood. So, just to keep your attention I figured I'd take the last few minutes of my break at work to update some stuff.

Barry White, the stray cat has been making several daily visits, is eating about 1.5 cans of expensive organic cat food a day, starting to "talk" to me a bit but his voice doesn't really let meows out very well (I suspect he is out of the habit of doing much other than hissing). He looks as thin and scruffy as I've ever seen a cat look. I'm a bit taxed money wise but once I have the funds he'll be going in as I doubt he'll make it through the winter without an intervention.

The torso mannequin or whatever it was on my neighbor's porch that spooked me so much has never appeared again so I don't know the answer to that mystery. I did however see a person at the neighborhood park the other day who was quite petite and the only limb she had was one leg which made me wonder...

I believe I've only eaten out twice since my last vegan disappointment. One was at an entirely vegetarian restaurant where I asked about each item on my plate specifically and the second was at Baja Fresh where I feel relatively confident their ingredients are as they state. By the way, a rice/beans plate with a side of Pronto guacamole will get you way more food then you need for under $4!

My friend Darren is still in the Sheridan Federal Detention Center waiting to be "classified" and moved to his final destination (of which is still a mystery). He can't have any visitors other than family (who all live in Canada) but his spirits are pretty high because he now has a full size toothbrush, a full size pencil, an ink pen, shoes other than plastic slippers, cotton gym shorts, etc. These are all things he has gone without since December 2005 when he was first arrested. Interestingly enough he is also locked in a cell 23 hours of the day with one of his co-accused, a guy that he has known for 12 years. Jails, they are mean and they are strangely generous. Go figure.

Well, my break is over. I'll see about a real post, real soon.

This is my scorned vegan entry of the day.

I didn't manage my time well enough this morning to make lunch. That and my kitchen is so trashed right now that the health inspector would totally shut me down if they saw it. Normally I make my lunch everyday. It's cheaper, healthier and helps me eat all of those darn veggies I get delivered.

However, since I didn't make lunch today I decided to order a pizza from a cafe right around the corner called Oliver Twisted. I should have gone to Veganopolis but I was being lazy (it's a bit of a walk there and back in my short half hour break time). At the very least I should have just walked to Safeway and bought something processed. But instead I figured I'd buck up, buy a pizza and have leftovers for tomorrow's lunch.

I called ahead so it would be ready when I got there and I waited around in the lobby while the seemingly useless staff did everything other than actually help me. I listened to the employee who was supposedly helping me train a new employee on how to include tips in the jar when people pay with credit cards. I paid for my pizza and went back to my cube. Mind you I have had a heck of a day at work at this time and just needed to eat my lunch in peace.

Guess what? The vegan pizza had non-vegan cheese on it. Doh! And guess what? By that time I didn't have enough time to go buy something else. Guess what I had for lunch? Pretzels from the vending machine. Whohoo!

Now some of you uninformed folks are thinking to yourself, "Well that's just stupid...the pizza is already made, just go ahead and eat it." That might work in theory (although I'd debate you on it) but the reality is if you don't eat dairy for twenty years you don't then decide to just jump in and do it again. I made that mistake once while at a wedding (and under the influence of much champagne) with a blackberry brie cheese concoction. Not a pretty picture.

Needless to say, folks on my floor were happy to get the email that a warm veggie pizza was lying unattended in the copy room.

And this makes the world a better place how?

Most of you know my friend Darren plead guilty to charges of eco-sabotage recently. His sentencing is for 37 months, which much has been served already as he was arrested in December of 2005 and has been in the jail system ever since. After his sentencing he was sent back to the Multnomah County Inverness Jail where I have visited him weekly since shortly after his arrest.

The Friday before last I went to the jail for a visit as was normal routine only to find that Darren was no longer there. All the guard could tell me was that the U.S. Marshals had taken him the day before. He didn't know exactly where he was taken, but figured it was to the federal prison in Sheridan, Oregon. (This was later confirmed through an "inmate locator" on the Bureau of Prisoners website). Now we figured that he would be taken there eventually but of course had no warning whatsoever. No goodbyes, just gone. It is a strange and abrupt end to a friendship that was rekindled after ten years of separation. I left the jail with a sense of loss and worry. At least seeing Darren on a weekly basis I had some sort of indication that he was okay...I knew where he was, I could visibly see that he was physically okay, I could get some insight into whether or not he was holding up.

Now Darren is gone into the federal prison system. He seemingly has no contact with the outside world until he is "classified" and given access to a phone and/or visitors, which may take weeks. This is a tense time. Just the last time I visited Darren he told me that the guards at MCIJ had chosen to place in general population the obviously mentally ill man who had allowed his mother to lay on the living room floor for weeks in her own waste. They placed him with a group of inmates the night the man's story was running on the news. Needless to say, the man did not have a good nights sleep. By morning he was transferred out of general population with a gash in his forward and numerous other injuries. You can therefore understand why I am nervous for Darren's safety as he is now being housed in a federal prison.

It helps that Darren is quite streetwise (after years of living on the run underground and a few years in jail previously) and has some survival skills for living in the "inside." It also helps that when the inmates ask him what he is in prison for he can tell them that it is for conspiracy and releasing wild horses that the government had captured to put up for sale so that federal lands could be leased to farmers at a loss so that farmers can graze their cattle. Darren can also hand them a several page story from The Rolling Stone that inmates can read about his case. Darren's crime garners him a bit more respect in jail but of course none of them are completely safe. If nothing else, even if the inmates don't abuse him you can be sure that the guards aren't above taking action against him.

Therefore you can understand the eery feelilng I got when I came home last night to a box on my porch that held nothing other than the clothes Darren was arrested in...tennis shoes, jeans, a few long sleeve shirts and a jacket. No note, no explanation, just the clothes that have been sitting at the jail since December of 2005 and that he wore while being transferred to Sheridan. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have my friend taken away with no contact only to receive a box of his clothes in the mail. Shortly I will be asked to pick up Darren's personal items that the FBI confiscated from his apartment after they arrested him (laptops, phones, cds, video tapes, etc) that they no longer need for the prosecution. My friend is gone and in his place I have bags and bags of letters and mail he received while in jail, books he read (prisoners can only keep so many personal items with them), pictures he released to me so that I can mail them to him later once he has reached permanent residence somewhere and his clothes.

Meanwhile I am studying the twenty page guide of visiting prisoners in federal prison...you can embrace only twice and only for a brief moment, once when you first arrive, once as you leave. You can't wear shorts or skirts or revealing clothing of any kind. You have to agree to take random drug tests. You had to have contact with the prisoner prior to his incarceration and you have to have some sort of influence on his life once he is released.

The prison system is supposedly to protect the public from criminals and to help them learn to live within our system. I am witnessing first hand that all they do is expose the inmates to all sorts of ugly elements, place them in fear for their saftey and serve as a place to alienate people from the outside world, the people that most need to not be alienated. Jails and prisons are not making the world a better place.

What's this about not looking a gift horse in the mouth?

I once received a horse as a gift...September 1979 as a matter of fact. And that "gift" was part of my life through sometime in 2002 or so. In that time I looked my "gift" horse in the mouth more times than you can possibly imagine (I taught her to kiss which took quite a few views and then once she learned how to kiss, counting the number of times I looked at her mouth became impossible). Not to mention she also had tooth issues in her later years (I have a couple of her teeth by the way which is kinda gross I suppose) which required mouth viewing.

Why do I bring all this horse mouth stuff up? Well, I have another vegan rant. Sorry for dwelling on the same subject but hey it's too frickin' hot in this place these days and that just causes the pissiness to rise to the top like cream.

Yesterday was my birthday and I spent nearly the entire year looking forward to having my (cheesy stupid ceremonial and department wide hated) birthday gathering at work. The lucky one gets to pick their special choice of dessert and we all stand around and watch each other eat until one of the bigwigs says we can leave. It always sucks for me because with the exception of when people choose fruit I can't eat the stuff anyhow (because it isn't vegan) so I just stand there stupidly and watch them eat. Well yesterday was supposed to be the day that everyone was going to eat a great, award winning chocolate three layer cake from Piece of Cake bakery in Westmoreland. Didn't happen quite that way.

Turns out my boss (or I suspect maybe her boss) decided that most people probably wouldn't like eating a vegan cake so they got me a condensed version of the cake I had suggested(single layer small which made it look like a brownie) and ordered a giant non-vegan cake for everyone else (not to mention the cake they ordered actually comes in a vegan variety but they got the kind with eggs and dairy instead). Now, a better person than I wouldn't have had their nose out of joint like I did but I'm not that better person. I'm vegan because I think it is wrong to eat animals as well as eat things that come out of animals (such as milk and eggs). To be frank it pisses me off that on my birthday people chose to celebrate with a non-vegan cake just because they are too veganphobic (I just came up with that word yesterday and you can bet I'll be using it a lot) to buck up and eat a vegan cake for one day out of the year. Never do they refuse to eat the vegan donuts I bring in fairly often from VooDoo Donuts and Might-O Donuts from Seattle. They all love the vegan banana muffins I bring in for them. But oh no, on my birthday they give me this condensed version of the cake I asked for (making it look like something cooked in an Easy Bake oven) and themselves eat this hugely stacked cake for themselves. Urgh.

Okay rant over. I was never gonna make it without posting how pissed I was. Combine my offense at animal products being used to celebrate my birthday with the fact that they never consider that I can't eat their celebratory feasts every other birthday and needless to say I was offended.

The day wasn't a complete bust though...while I didn't win, or even come close to winning, and I nearly died from the smoke, I did have a very enjoyable and air conditioned evening at the local bingo hall!

Your next number is in the monitor...this ain't your grandma's bingo!

Oh, by the way, thank you tons to all of you who ordered art cards to support my quest to make a collage for every I have been on this planet...the orders went way over my request of 40. It's gonna take me awhile to get them all done (and I'll post when they've been sent) but I really appreciate everyone's support of my crazy idea!

Are you getting enough protein?

This is a question vegans get asked all the time. How do you get enough protein? Drives me nuts. Humans really don't need near as much protein as people generally think, in fact it would be difficult to eat a well rounded diet and not get enough protein.

I was out to dinner with my dad, his wife and her family tonight to celebrate her birthday (and sort of mine). Despite the fact that I have eaten meals a couple of times a year with these people for the past several years, somehow when we go out to eat the topic of my veganism always comes up.

Tonight I asked them if anyone ever asks them if they are eating a nutritionally balanced diet. Of course not. Nobody ever mentions to carnivores that they should be concerned about what they eat but take an herbivore approach to eating and all of a sudden people are so concerned about your health.

The funny thing tonight was that this conversation was happening right when the waitress brought out our food. Above is what I was having for dinner. Below is what my dad ate. I pointed out the differences and asked the table, "Now who are you worried about?"

Barry White Update Part 2

This afternoon I was outside watering some plants when a woman drove up in her car and got out. I figured she was one of my local eBay customers come to pick up some Fisher Price Little People but she said that she wanted to talk to me about Jasper.

Turns out the cat that is Barry White to me is Jasper to the woman who lives on the next block.

This woman had been talking to some neighbors who have been feeding Barry White for several years and have recently sold their house. When she inquired what was going to happen to the stray cat they said that they knew that I had been feeding him recently as well.

I learned a little more history about him...he used to belong to people who lived a few houses down my street and was left behind many years ago when they moved. Since then he has been on his own, beg, borrowing and stealing from kind hearted folks in the neighborhood. It is so absolutely amazing he has survived this long.

Anyhow, this woman has fed him on and off for years as well and just wanted to touch base with me to make sure that he is going to be taken care of. I told her that I intended on catching him and taking him to the vet to be treated for his upper respiratory infection and that I intend on caring for him. She offered to let me borrow a trap that she has to catch him and left me with her name and phone number.

This morning I looked out my bedroom window and saw him sleeping in the bushes in my backyard and was so sorry he wasn't able to curl up on the bed with me and the other critters. Knowing that he once had a family to call home and was eventually just abandoned is so sad. But now I'm hopeful that maybe one day I'll actually be able to befriend him even more and remind him how wonderful it can be to have a person who cares for you.

I don't think I'm crazy.

So I had probably one of the most creepy experiences of my life yesterday and I haven't recovered from it yet. I'll let you all in on the scenario only if you promise not to laugh at me.

I was walking to the bus stop and went down a street I nearly always use. As I approached this one house I noticed what appeared to be a mannequin torso on the porch. The house is a little dumpy and you don't see mannequins in my current neighborhood like I did back when I lived in the Hawthorne neighborhood but it isn't that bizarre, this is Portland after all.

Anyhow I was staring quite intensively at the mannequin, one because I hadn't seen it before, two because it was the day after 4th of July and everything was covered in burnt explosive materials and three because there was also a black cat on the porch. As I continued walking down the sidewalk it felt like the mannequins eyes were following me. I thought to myself, "Hmmm, this is like those paintings where the eyes seem to be looking at you no matter where you are standing." I kept staring because it was so captivating.

However, just as I was about to pass the house the torso smiled at me. The hairs on my body immediately stood up and a chill went through my body. Out of nervousness or dutiful politeness or whatever I smiled back and kept on walking.

As I continued down the block I was so disturbed and confused and frightened. Was I nuts thinking it smiled at me? Was it a mannequin or was it actually a human? I didn't see any legs, there was no place the legs could have been unless the person was standing up through the porch. And what about the arms. Okay, frankly I'm still creeped out by this.

When I got into work yesterday I told a few of my co-workers (only the ones that know I'm not nuts) and they could see how spooked I was and they got creeped out as well. This morning one of them came to me first thing and asked what it turned out to be.

I haven't gone by the house again. After work yesterday I went to water aerobics and came home on a different bus and today I walked down a different street because I was afraid of what I might see.

Tomorrow I plan on driving by with someone else in the car to witness it.

Trust me, I'm not one to imagine things. I'm really not.

His and Hers

Several of you have asked for an update about Barry White, the stray cat I've tried to befriend and catch to take him to the vet. No luck. I failed catching him one afternoon (3 times) and now he really won't let me get near him. Last night I came home and he was on my back deck and let me walk around him and he even sort of meows at me (not a whole lot comes out) but I have had to begin the process of gaining his trust all over again.

He is really skinny but I don't know how much of that is years without proper food, worms or other health issues or just "old cat body." As many of you no doubt know, when cats age they eventually slim down naturally, sometimes to such a state that it can be quite noticeable. My cat Max for instance (who is 15 years old) is really quite bony (not very pleasant to pet) but he is so fluffy you hardly notice it without touching him.

The plan with Barry White now is to contact the Feral Cat Coalition and borrow a trap that is spring loaded so I don't even have to be present. FCC's resources are precious so I am hoping to not to have to resort to them for the medical procedures (they are pretty much a spay/neuter/release program anyhow), but their advice regarding catching Mr. Barry White I am sure will be valuable.

Starlight by candlelight.

Saturday night my friends Greg, Dixie and I went to see a lounge act. The last time the three of us did that together was seeing Richard Cheese in Vegas a few years back (Greg and I have seen Mr. Cheese again at Dante's since then but being that I wasn't drinking or sitting I've determined it wasn't technically a lounge act). Yesterday's lounge act was actually right here in my neighborhood however, at Tony Starlight's Supper Club on 37th and Sandy Blvd.

I saw Tony perform many a time at the now defunct Club 1201 many years ago. During his prior performances I saw Tony mock dead grunge stars and classic rockers while dressed like Frank Sinatra in a velvet smoking jacket with a microphone in one hand and a martini in the other. Tony has an amazing ability to imitate voices and writes hysterical new lyrics for songs we all know. At Saturday's show for instance we heard his impression of Dave Matthews singing a promotional ad for Big K and an entire tribute to Neil Diamond and Christopher Cross. Tony is backed by a three piece jazz band (with a piano player that is the spitting image of Chris O'Donnell) that provide musical interludes while Tony changes clothing preparing for a routine as another washed up performer.

Not only will you find yourself entertained by the performances at the supper club, you will be impressed with what Tony has done to the club. This particular corner of Sandy has seen many businesses: a strip club, a health food restaurant, a Mexican cafe and one of my all time favorite music spots, The Blackbird (which had the best vegan buffalo wings a girl could wish for). It has long been troubled by a lack of parking (although Mr. Starlight has shown his business savvy by arranging for parking spaces in the Banfield Motel kitty corner from his club) and unrealistic business plans but I think Tony has created a viable contribution to the neighborhood. The transformation of a cold awkward interior into a swanky, vintage club is outstanding. The wait staff are fantastic, the garlic fries were yummy, the drinks were great, the prices reasonable.

I have nothing bad to say about this place. I was excited to visit, pleasantly surprised and can't wait to return.

Treat yourself to a visit at Tony Starlight's Supper Club. Take friends and coworkers, laugh, drink, sing along and help make sure the place survives.