Everyday is NOT like Sunday

Don't have much to say but feel I should post something. I'm in a blue mood. Don't know why. The approaching holiday season perhaps? The stress of work? The overwhelming process of trying to organize my house (it's been a project filled weekend and way too many were started with none being completed so now my house is trashed)? I don't think it's the rain.

I've been dreaming a lot. Various topics. Past animals have been coming up quite often, my subconscious really pointing out my need to grieve the loss of all the precious little critters I've said goodbye to over the past few years. I'll admit I don't really want to go there. Frankly I just don't have the energy but I guess sooner or later not dealing with stuff ends up kicking us in the ass, doesn't it? You can run but you can't hide. I also think this is triggered by the cat I see when I walk to and from the bus stop. I think it has been abandoned. I know of two people who feed it but don't know where it lives. It seems like it is always outside. Breaks my heart. I know some people don't get this but cats without homes is just one of the saddest things ever in my mind. They are domestic creatures and should be curled up in bed with a person, purring and feeling content. So to explain to you how my mind works, when I find a cat (like this one up the street) that appears to need a person to help it, I get really, really sad. I feel guilty for not helping it, even though I daily care for three kitties already and certainly can't take care of every homeless cat. But as is probably obvious to most of you, I take the importance of being responsible for my actions really seriously. Therefore, if there is a cat in need I feel like I'm turning my back on it for not doing anything. It's the reason I'm vegan, it's the reason I recycle, it's the reason I do most of the stuff I do. I have this overwhelming (and exhausting) obligation to do the right thing. Sometimes it just gets too hard to deal with. I'd like to just not give a shit but that just isn't me. I'm the bleeding heart liberal that conservatives laugh about.

To try and offset this sadness I started walking again. As of yesterday. Awhile ago I managed going about a year walking religiously nearly an hour a day five days a week. But for nearly a year now I have hardly walked at all. I have to start it again. It made a huge change in my life, more than any medication ever did. Exercise is just one of those things...once you can get into the habit it becomes easier to continue doing but get out of the habit and you have to start all over again. I did the 5K First Run/Walk at midnight on New Year's Eve two years ago and found it to be one of the best ways to start a new year and want to do it again this year if anybody wants to walk with me (and Twinky if they allow dogs this year).