The Alt Martha

2007-10-17T06:20:00.000-07:00

I was named after my father's mother. Her first name was Ouida but her middle name was Elaine.

As a child I hated my name because it wasn't very common and I often was called Eileen or Ellen from kids not familiar with the name Elaine. Popular culture of late has alleviated this unfamiliarity what with Elaine Benes on Seinfeld and Elaine, the uber slutty secretary on Ali McBeal and I have grown accustomed to having a name that isn't exactly common. There is still a sense of amusement upon meeting other Elaine's and I have looked at all of the phone directory pictures of the six Elaine's at my work searching for similarities to my own face. I once had a fairly close friend named Elaine and we always giggled when saying "Hi Elaine" to each other.

Doing a bit of research with my friend Google the other day I found even more references to my name.

Elaine is:

-a construction company in Massachusetts (who own Elaine.com)
-a bed and breakfast in New Mexico
-a city in Arkansas with a population of 865
-a high end clothing store in Palo Alto
-a flower shoppe in Buffalo, New York
-a bed and breakfast by the sea in Newfoundland
-the lover of Lancelot
-a fine dining restaurant in Connecticut
-the star studded restaurant in New York (which has veal on the menu by the way)
-the title of a song from Abba

It's a dead end street
They tie your hands and tie your feet
And the street is narrow
A nowhere lane
A nowhere train for Elaine, Elaine, Elaine
You're like a goldfish in a bowl
Elaine, Elaine, Elaine
They have your mind, they'll take your soul

-a verse in the Robyn Hitchcock song Freeze

There's a justice in this world
She's cruel but she's fair
And I know just what she's called
She's called Elaine

I have many times emailed several of these businesses asking if I could order a t-shirt or some sort of marketing material from them but they generally end up thinking I'm rather odd. On eBay I have twice found jacket patches with the name Elaine on them (both of which I purchased). I don't know what the fascination is exactly, maybe I'm trying to reclaim my name by emphasizing how it is not as random as the kids on the playground thought when I was a kid? I fantasize about doing a road trip and visiting some of these places to see if they have a gift store or going to the thrift stores in Elaine, Arkansas and see how many items I can find with my name on them.

The transformation from cat lady to cat nerd.

2007-10-16T06:03:00.001-07:00

For the first time since I was 19 years old I have less than three cats. Frankly my house seems empty and carefree with Twinky being the only animal I have over the age of 7 or 8 (I forget exactly how old Jingles is at the moment). This causes me to ponder...am I still a cat lady?

My friend Teagen and I have discussed this label many times before (while Teagen may not currently have any cats she is without question a cat lady). While it is of course mentioned light heartedly, the label cat lady brings with it a stereotype of a spinster woman in tennis shoes talking to herself much like Eleanor Abernathy, the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons. In fact, the image is so severe that a group has been formed to combat the assumption that cat ladies are animal hoarders without a productive connection to society.

Someone once told me that you are allowed to have up to one cat per bedroom in your house without receiving that title. My den is technically considered a bedroom despite the fact that it isn't actually big enough for a twin bed and that it has french doors leading into the living room. That would allow me two cats, which is what I currently have. So I am now declaring that I am no longer a cat lady ("Not that there is anything wrong with that!" she said reminiscent of that infamous episode we all know and love). Instead I declare myself to be a cat nerd. While nerd was once considered a derogatory term it has become an affectionate label of someone who is highly enlightened towards a subject but not to the point to cause alarm.

Of course, one factor threatening to effect my status is Barry White, the previously mentioned stray cat I've been befriending. Just last night in fact I was discussing with him (as he was doing his best to get past the screen door into the living room) that I am not a cat lady and therefore he is not allowed to be "my" cat. I suspect he knows as well as I that I won't be able to hold out for long. As the weather cools and as his health improves (turns out my next door neighbor to the South has been able to pet and romance him just as I have been and I have been treating him with antibiotics left over from Max) I will eventually adopt this very loving and affectionate little critter into my home and become a cat lady yet again.

**For those of you curious about my follow up to vindicating Max's death I offer you these updates. I have filed a very thorough complaint with Multnomah County regarding the two dogs (or really the owners of the two dogs). While I do not wish any harm to come to the dogs I do want the owners to be held accountable. According to the ordinances I have read, the worst that will happen is that the owners will be fined, required to restrain their dogs in a 5 foot enclosure while outside and carry a liability insurance policy.

In order to hopefully (but I am certainly not holding my breath) recoup some of the $1,700 I spent on vet bills I will be filing paperwork to go to small claims court. Yesterday I spoke with an attorney who sued the neighbor of his mother last year for nearly the same identical issue. He gave me a lot of helpful advice and support which will no doubt be of great use to me.

For those keeping track, I am in the "anger" phase of the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief.

Something old, something new

2007-10-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

I nested this weekend and this is the new look of my bedroom. The quilt is new (purchased on eBay for 1/2 of retail), the curtain is a freshly purchased vintage sheet from Goodwill, the metal clock on the wall is from Pottery Barn via Goodwill, the nightstand was free from a friend, the little dresser is a piece of doll furniture my grandfather made for my mom when she was a young girl, the metal letter E is from an old marquee, the floral card hanging above that is a blessing with an inscription on the back dated 1921 (the same year my house was built), the metal lamp is old, the lamp shade is from Ross. Something old, something new, but nothing borrowed and nothing blue.

In other decorating news, I purchased this amazing chromolithograph at an auction Friday before last for $40.00.

As soon as I saw it I knew that it was going home with me no matter what I had to pay for it. Turns out I probably could have purchased it a lot cheaper but the people behind me kept bidding against me. We found out too late that we each wanted a different item (the auction was for one of any three art pieces held up at the time). Regardless I got to bring this old, old print home and hang it up in my living room so it is the first thing you see when you walk in my front door. The frame is rickedy and the old glass is broken but to me it is just filled with charm. When you consider some unlucky bidder paid $197.50 for almost the same print (only in an albeit nicer frame) on eBay you realize what a steal $40 really was!

I Heart Goodwill

2007-10-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a slut for organizers, containers, most storage paraphernalia. In fact I finally have more organizers than I have things to organize but that doesn't keep me from picking up a good deal when I find one. Hence the two new additions for the craft room. The first is a rolling cart that after a little bath is just like new. I only paid $3.00 for it rather than $19.99 or whatever the original owner paid for it. The second addition is the little three drawer matching unit I have placed above it. That was purchased for $2.00 making the entire set $5.00 when retail would have been over five times that much. They have already been put into play serving as a caddy for my tape assortment, ribbons/strings/laces, glue sticks and such (yes, I have an entire drawer of salvaged glue sticks), adhesives, paints and miscellaneous items such as vintage photographs, Shrinky Dinks and origami paper.

The key to successful artwork is having everything right at hand. Plus it looks cool. Or at least it looks cool to an organizer.

Apparently I'm not the only Yaris fan that likes Goodwill.

Maxwell Silver

2007-10-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Rest in peace, Mister Man...you will be missed!

Welcome to my cat blog.

2007-10-03T22:19:00.000-07:00

Seems like all I'm doing is talking cats lately...welcome to my cat blog.

We have a new cat tree in the house! At first I had it inconspicuously set to the outside of the living room but nobody would acknowledge it. Tonight I moved it to the center of the living room and it hasn't been empty since. Better entertainment than tv.

The update on Max...he was better then worse, then better, now worse. The last few days it seemed he was well on his way to recovery but tonight he has blood in his urine again. The vet seems to think this isn't that out of the blue as it is supposedly common when the bladder is bruised.

I got the paperwork from the county today telling me who owns the dogs that attacked him. They live three blocks away. Apparently the dogs have been loose many times over the past few years. I really want to knock on their door and give them a piece of my mind but I guess I'll wait and serve them with a court order instead.

And now for something completely different.

2007-09-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Send 'em something!

It's 10:30 a.m. in the morning...do you know where your cat is?

2007-09-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Picture this...Monday morning, 10:30 a.m. sitting in your cube at work. Your co-worker answers the phone, tells the caller you are on your break, pauses, then tells you, "There is an emergency at your house, your neighbor is on the phone!"

Your heart races, your creative mind flashes with visions of natural disasters, fire, robbery...you answer the phone not knowing what to expect and your neighbor tells you that two dogs went into your back yard and attacked your cat. They are not able to get to your cat who is growling and hiding under your above ground oil tank. You are at work without a car, a 45 minute bus ride from home.

Welcome to my Monday morning.

When I got home I found my 15 year old cat Max hiding in the back corner of my front porch shaking terribly and in a complete state of shock. He didn't seem to have any open wounds (no blood) but I took him to the vet to be checked anyhow. They held him in the hospital for the day and gave him IV fluids, sending him home that night thinking all was well.

Welcome to my Tuesday morning...wake to Max straining to urinate and only passing blood...back to the vet where the vet thinks he may have an infection. He stays the day at the vet getting fluids and a steroid injection to hopefully reduce what appears to be swelling in his brain creating vision problems and concussion symptoms. Three or so in the afternoon the vet calls me and says he doesn't have an infection. Now she suspects that his bladder has been ruptured.

During my commute to the vet I sit with sunglasses on trying to hide my tears...the vet calls my cell phone and tells me that she x-rayed his abdomen and his bladder is in tact...apparently just very bruised. She also found several puncture marks on his back leg that she fears will get infected. She sends him home with antibiotics.

Welcome Wednesday morning...I awake to an alert Max acting much more like himself. His eyes are no longer completely dilated and he eats breakfast, pees in the litter box so I go to work optimistic he will be okay.

Fast forward to ten o'clock Wednesday night and Max, who has withdrawn since the morning and not really interacting with me, simultaneously vomits and urinates on the pillow where he is laying. I call the vet and he says that he suspects it is a pain reaction since he was better and then got worse again. The steroid injection had worn off and now he is sick from the pain. The vet says that the worse is probably yet to come as "tussles" with dogs often creates severe pain.

I go to the vet and get pain medication only to return home and force the tablets down Max's throat with a chaser of liquid antibiotic. He froths at the mouth from the bad taste and scrambles to get away from me.

Now I am sitting crossed legged on the floor typing because I'm afraid if I get on the bed he'll hide under the bed in order to avoid me.

So yeah, that's the details up to the minute. THANKFULLY my neighbors were home when it happened. They ran into the yard and chased the dogs away (who were soon caught by animal services). Without their interruption it seems evident that the dogs would have killed Max.

I worked at vet clinics years ago and know the dangers cats that go outside face (and my two younger cats are not allowed out) but Max had spent his life in and out before I really knew better and my justification was that he never left the yard, mostly just watched the world go by from the back deck.

I never suspected that dogs would run into my yard and attack him...making sure that he was in bed with me by ten p.m. at night wasn't sufficient.

Going, going, gone!

2007-09-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

Oregon City Auction holds a sale every Friday night that my mom and I have gone to on and off for many years. Several items in my house have been purchased from there. This auction is a lot like a garage sale, only in an auction format. You have to wait through a lot of junk in order to find a gem and sometmes you might not find anything you like.

I went to the auction this last Friday for the first time in awhile (I had a steady Friday night date with my friend Darren for the past year and then some). I had pretty good karma this week, maybe not as good as a friend of my mom's and I (who we know from Goodwill's as-is) who bought a doll for $12 at an estate sale and sold it for $2,000 on eBay, but good karma nonetheless.

For a total of $43 I bought a box of "stuff", a wicker chair, an old oak coat rack and a brand new rolling storage unit.

The boxes of stuff sold at the auction are often randomly packed with miscellaneous odds and ends and many times you don't know exactly what you are buying.

This $10 box provided me with a bunch of old unfinished craft frames (they are made in the U.S. if that gives you an idea of the age, ha ha) that I will use for an upcoming project to sell at the Handmade Holiday Bazaar in December (more about that project in a few months), a bag full of little plastic charms and toys, a ton of metal filagree pieces to do who knows what with, several dollhouse miniature magazines and food items that will be perfect for collage (including a miniature 54 page illustrated Sear's & Roebuck catalog) and random ceramic dolls/parts.

The rolling storage unit has turned into a portable organizer for all of my rubber stamps, inks and embossing powders. I paid $7.50 and when I looked at Fred Meyer yesterday I noticed the retail price is $17.99.

The $8 wicker chair is the new throne in the craft room.

The $17.50 coat tree is still on my front porch as I have yet to decide exactly where it is going to live but I'm very excited to have found it. Coat trees are often crappy in construction, almost always partly broken or unstable but this one is in fantastic shape and really high quality (and old which of course makes it even better).

Animal Testing

2007-09-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

Several of you have mentioned that you enjoyed the photos I used to post of my organic veggie deliveries. While I'm still getting my weekly delivery I will admit that the novelty has worn off and now I look at it more like, "Ugh, now I gotta clear out all the veggies I didn't eat last week." I try to make soup or veggie pot pie to clear out all the previous weeks veggies and sometimes I'm successful. Once the weather cools down (Summer is not my season) perhaps I'll be more motivated to cook and actually make a meal rather than eating a bowl of cereal.

I did want to inform you however, that I have implemented a new inspection process.

Now what do I do?

2007-09-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight was one of those nights where you go up and down in a matter of minutes (although in this case it was down then up).

I came home to a package from UPS containing a pair of shoes that I found for less than half retail on overstock.com. Turns out they weren't the color I thought they were gonna be though (and the color I really want isn't available). Sad, very sad.

But then my luck changed. Remember the feral cat, Barry White, I have been befriending for months? Well, each day I've been reaching out trying to pet him every time I give him food. Tonight he actually let me kind of do it then he turned around and looked at me. Seconds later he walked over to me and rubbed on my leg. Within minutes I was petting him from ears to tail, rubbing his bony sides and giving little scratches to his head. He began to purr and then marched up and down. I nearly had a heart attack. I was in so much shock I couldn't hardly believe it was happening. Something just clicked in him apparently and he recognized me for the cat sap that I am.

So, be careful what you ask for because now I have a filthy dirty unneutered male cat with an abscessed mouth, mite ridden ears and puss filled eyes that wants to come into my house.

Two months outta my life.

2007-09-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today is exactly two months after the deadline for art card orders. To jog your memory I had this brainiac idea to sell 40 art cards in celebration of my fortieth birthday and then to turn around and order a commissioned piece from one of my favorite collage artists. Well apparently I have not acquired wisdom with my age. I ended up getting orders for 51 cards and have spent A LOT of time over the past two months completing them. This weekend I put the finishing touches on the last ones...they are post card style so that pretty much means I did 102 collages although I did make some of them only one sided. For those of you who ordered I am sorry it took so long but I wanted to complete all of them before sending them out and frankly it took me giving up a ton of my free time to get them done this soon as it is.

As you can tell from the picture it was a messy project but I did receive help (luckily cat hair just provides "depth" in a collage). Throughout the project I fluctuated from being inspired to being absolutely so sick of the project that I was gonna send everyone their $2 bucks back but now that it is over I'm happy with the results. These cards were ordered all the way from Portland, Oregon to Maine and are being shipped to New York, Connecticut, Arizona, California, etc.

What struck me at the end of the project is how diverse they all are. Part of that is thanks to the diversity of the requests...pink/sparkles/Hello Kitty for a 4 year old to "art" for someone I didn't know and "busy woman doctor" to "robot." Surprisingly the subject matters that were the furthest away from my comfort zone ended up being my favorite.

I will be mailing the cards out tonight after work. For folks getting more than one to the same address I am mailing one a day to stretch out the pleasure, ha ha. My intention had been to scan each one and post it to my flickr site to show off my work but many of them are 3D so I couldn't get good enough pics to bother with and photographing over fifty cards just wasn't appealing to me. For those of you in town I do have an album that I made with color photocopies of most so you'll be able to get a rough idea of what I did.

Disclaimer: My approach to mail art is to push the envelope. What this means is I often mail things through the mail that gets comments such as "I didn't know you could mail that." Most of the time the items go through but occasionally the machines at the post office eat them or the computers can't read the addresses so they have to be processed by hand which takes longer, etc. Several of the items have 3D effects which might get damaged or fall off in transit. Some might avoid such techniques given the possibility that they don't work but that isn't my style. All I can say is that if you don't get a card you ordered for yourself or a friend/family member doesn't get theirs or is broken just please let me know and I'll send out a replacement.

Thanks to all of you who supported my $2 birthday card project, I hope you enjoy them!

Oops. Ouch. Dang.

2007-08-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I just cut my hand...it feels pretty bad but coulda been a lot worse. I was digging around in my basement looking for a 10 key calculator that I could take to work. In a brainiac moment I pulled a very large and very heavy box down off the shelf full well knowing that I didn't have a landing destination for it. I half heartedly put my left hand underneath the box and when I caught the box the force of it pushed my hand down really hard on top of rusty metal snowman sign. Now I have an inch and a half gash across the top of my hand and it hurts like crap. But I realized almost instantly that it could have been way, way worse and I could be sitting at the emergency room getting stitches rather than whining on my blog.

Now I'm at that point when you cut or burn yourself and you have to decide if it is going to be too painful to get into the shower. I'll have to check my hair again in the mirror to decide.

And after all that I still didn't find my adding machine. So much for doing a good deed (I was gonna loan it to a co-worker).

Since my photography skills are not what they should/could be I can't photograph my hand so instead I have attached the cutest picture ever of Corgi girl Twinky lately. She was laying on my bed unattended and after thoroughly cleaning out my take out salad container decided to take a comfy snooze on top of the pillows. Cutie patootie!

My life as a beauty pageant contestant.

2007-08-24T21:59:00.000-07:00

I am laying here in bed flipping through TV stations and just watched Mario Lopez crown Miss Teen U.S.A. The chick from Colorado won. She already looks older than me.

I found it interesting and seemingly inappropriate that the backdrop on the stage was a giant comic book drawing of a woman's face with a dialogue bubble that said "OMG!"

Miss Teen Colorado started crying immediately and her father jumped up in the audience pointing to his sign promoting his daughter. No doubt he is a very proud man.

When I was a very little girl I once joined hundreds of other little girls in a tryout to become the Junior Rose Festival princess. As shocking as it may sound I made it past the first round of disqualifications. I think all we had to do was walk up to the microphone and state our name.

I remember the dress I was wearing (a hideous pea green floor length nightmare) and I remember the answer I gave during the second round when we were asked if we could invite anyone to dinner who would it be and what would we serve.

My answer was that I would invite the Easter bunny and serve ham and corn. The audience laughed and I didn't know why.

Daily Observations

2007-08-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

The thing I like about blogging is having a place to record random thoughts.

Today I took a different bus route home from work in order to stop by "the grocery" (as my friend Maggie would say). On the #8 bus going down 15th I passed an area of town near the last apartment I lived in before buying my house. Instantly I was filled with nostalgia of walks through the neighborhood with my old Lab, Abbey.

By that time Abbey was fairly old (she died when she was 15, a few years later) and didn't do a whole lot of things that surprised me. I got her when she was just weeks old and thought I had seen her do all that I would ever see. Well, one morning while we were goofing around in a school yard I hid behind a giant container (the type used to haul stuff behind a semi or on a train or tanker in the ocean) and when she had lost sight of me I would jump out and surprise her. After a few mornings of doing this, Abbey not only caught on but actually fooled me by turning around the opposite way and surprising me from behind. It was so adorable and clever and unsuspected it made me laugh out loud. Turns out that not only can you teach an old dog a new trick...perhaps your old dog can teach you one.

On 15th and Fremont I got off the bus to go into Wild Oats which is located right next to a branch of Planned Parenthood. On the sidewalk there were a handful of people standing with huge signs stating that "Planned Parenthood kills babies"
as well as huge pictures of tiny fetuses. I had a multitude of emotions with this. It was the second protest I had walked by today (the first was downtown on my lunch break at the University Club regarding Tibet). Unlike the protest downtown, these activists didn't say a word. They had video cameras but I was fairly certain they weren't filming at the time. I didn't say anything to them but thought to myself a few things.

First was that I have a neighbor who works for Planned Parenthood. Her and her partner have two children whom they love and spend a great deal of time with. Therefore, the idea that Planned Parenthood somehow was harming children didn't fit for me. Additionally I was reminded that Planned Parenthood does not offer tubal ligations for women. Men can get sterilized there but women can't because the procedure actually involves general anesthesia (although I can personally vouch for the fact that it is a super simple surgery). Therefore I thought, well, that whole thought got me going on a lot of issues. For instance, many (well, most I think) hospitals are owned and operated by churches which do not allow for sterilizations. In fact when I got my tubes tied (by Kaiser for a $5 co-pay ten years ago) the doctor had difficulty scheduling it as they were leasing space from hospitals that did not allow them to perform tubal ligations there...which triggered me to thinking about the lack of accessibility to birth control, blah blah blah. I just don't think focusing on abortion is the best approach to helping babies. Preventing unwanted babies strikes me as the more useful approach. Of course I also thought that war kills a lot more babies than abortion and that unless the protesters were vegans they were responsible for a lot of death. Of course I didn't say anything to them...I have stood on a street corner with a protest sign way too much to ridicule anyone for standing up for what they believe in. Mostly I just wanted to document how one activity triggers thoughts.

My third observation is still cracking me up and perhaps is a good way to end this post on a less serious note. As I was looking out the window of the bus riding down Fremont street I noticed that there is a bus stop in the middle of a block right in front of a very large cemetery. No houses on either side of the stop for at least a block (on one side it is more than two blocks). Um, who is gonna catch the bus there?

Hipster Nascar

2007-08-21T06:47:00.000-07:00

This Saturday hosts one of my very favorite things in Portland. It's the annual Mt. Tabor Soap Box Derby and you shouldn't miss it. That is, unless you are a lame, buzz killing, rain on the parade kinda folk. If you are, don't go.

I'll admit it did get a little mainstream and been there/done that for awhile but as of last year, the charm was back baby, back!

Greg, ya comin' down for it?

Dollars for Darlings

2007-08-15T06:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, that is a cheesy headline but as you all should be painfully aware I am a cat lady more than I am anything else. Well, I'm pleased to say that my employer has a program for employee giving that I'm thrilled with and I might add that it feels really weird to be proud of a corporation. My work will match every dollar you contribute to a non-profit, dollar for dollar, up to $10,000 (per employee)! Mind you I don't have $10,000 to contribute but I can certainly afford something each check and through this program the charity of my choice will receive twice the amount. Now of course I realize that I work for an insurance/financial investing company and the money they are using to provide this benefit was not made in the most ethical and utopian of manner, but heh, good deeds are good deeds, at least to some degree and they don't have to be doing anything so I'm gonna give 'em props.

The charity I chose has been a long standing local favorite of mine, The Cat Adoption Team (C.A.T.). CAT is a no-kill shelter meaning that they don't euthanize healthy animals just because they are homeless (my theory is we need to stop killing dogs and cats just because they don't have homes...they should be lining the street corners with cages to help get them adopted and forcing sterilization of all domestic pets--yes, I know that would put an end to the careers of all the people who profit off of breeding animals and no that doesn't bother me). Behind closed doors quietly putting to sleep thousands and thousands of animals just because they don't have homes is not acceptable to me but I won't lecture you too much here.

I'd just like to suggest to all of you to pick a charity and donate to it. If you work for a non-profit (as I know many of you do) you can certainly attest to the importance of contributions but we can all spare a few bucks each payday. Making it a big event like my employer does (we have a two week period where they have tons of opportunities to give...raffles, games, donations so you can wear jeans, etc) is a fantastic way to do it but if you don't work for a big company like I do you can still give.

The non-profit you chose will appreciate it.

By the way, yes, I used a picture of my dog Twinky instead of one of my cats...she was feeling under represented and yes, she is a purebred. Twinky however was adopted from a rescue group...I didn't buy her from a breeder.

Budget Decorating

2007-08-12T21:05:00.000-07:00

For the most part I'm pretty happy with how my house is decorated. One of the keys to budget decorating however is to make due with what you have until something better is attainable.

I don't have a fancy stereo (just a crappy old boom box that I got secondhand probably 15 years ago) and it is impossible to decorate with that thing. No matter how attractive the table or shelf that I put it on it looks like late 80's college style, which is not the look I'm going for.

Well, today I had one of those decorating epiphanies that can turn just an ordinary weekend into a fabulous weekend (don't worry, I'm just goofing...it isn't THAT significant).

Anyhow, I took a $5 cabinet that I got at Goodwill, took off the door, painted it with a can of paint I got at Fred Meyer for $.03 (yes three cents) and whalah, I have a new cd/book cabinet in my living room placed where a table that I got for free once lived with my stereo on it. I'm so much happier not having that stupid boom box gathering dust now.

So, you ask...what did you do with the stereo? Isn't it just being ugly in another part of your house? Why yes, it is. Under the bed though so I don't care. Yep, under the vintage twin metal bed that I use as a day bed/couch in my living room. The controls are surprisingly easy to reach so I can still use it and now I have a technology free living room (the tv was banished to the bedroom months ago because you definitely can't decorate with a tv in a house the size of mine.

Family

2007-08-06T06:46:00.000-07:00

My mom is 67 years old and not in very good health. Her current issue is a cyaic nerve being pinched in her back that is creating an overwhelming sense of pain from her hip down to her knee. I once suffered with the same issue so I know how much she is in pain. When I was going through my back issues I was in so much pain I had to go to the emergency room several times trying to get some pain relief. Not much works. Weekend before last my mom called me at 4:45 a.m. Sunday morning crying hysterically because she couldn't stand the pain any longer. I stood next to her bed in the emergency room as she screamed in pain begging for them to "put her out" because she was in so much pain. For an hour and a half they tried to start an IV in her arm but after nearly 50 years of smoking her veins are just too hard and resistant to get a needle successfully inserted. (I'm sorry folks, but if you are a smoker do your family a favor and stop now). They eventually gave her an injection of morphine and it alleviated the pain enough for her to walk for most of the rest of the day but it didn't take long for the pain to begin again.

My brothers and I are in the process of trying to sell her condo and have moved her into a retirement community less than a mile from my house (as I am the only daughter in the family--with three brothers--I am the main caretaker of course). The new place isn't an assisted living facility just a fancy (and frankly really nice) apartment complex for seniors. All of this is forcing my family to interact with each other and it isn't going well. Funny, just because you are older and have all moved away from each other doesn't mean that the dynamics change. Therefore, in addition to dealing with my mom's health and move I am having to relive many emotions from my childhood which was not a pleasant time in my life. I hadn't been able to get in touch with my mom all last week and knew my brother's had physically moved some of her furniture and her to the new place so I visited her on Friday.

Turns out my mom had been left without a phone for an entire week which meant no communication with anyone including her doctor. She couldn't get online which meant she couldn't pay her bills, view her bank account, answer emails or order her medications to be mail delivered. When I went on Friday she didn't have any groceries, had only one of her heart pills left (she had a heart attack a few years ago and now has a stint in her heart and yet she keeps smoking). Both of my brothers had left town for work and just left her there either assuming that I was gonna take care of everything or that my mom would somehow take care of herself (which she refuses to do). Not only do I get left with the day to day care taking, I get zero respect or recognition for it (from my brothers, much less my mom).

My point in all of this is that I spent the entire weekend moving boxes, unpacking boxes, doing laundry, washing dishes, cleaning, lifting, shopping, chauffeuring, cooking, sorting through papers, entertaining and providing moral support to my mother (not to mention giving her my cell phone so she can have access to the outside world). While I wouldn't mind doing that once in awhile (she is my mother by the way) I can't stand the fact that it is just assumed by my family I will do it (or frankly mostly assumed that my mother does it herself and that I don't do anything). I was completely disregard by one brother, lied to by another (the third doesn't talk to either of my parents), yelled at by my dad (who my mom divorced 24 years ago and nobody requested play a role at all). I hate the drama. My role in our family for so many years was the scapegoat, the drop out, the radical left winged ignorant liberal (my family is all very homophobic, racist, conservative and --other than my brother who has an engineering Master's degree from Stanford-- uneducated). I am an outsider and it is clear that my assumed role hasn't changed even now that I am an adult.

Needless to say my weekend is over, my dishes aren't done, my laundry isn't done, my papers haven't been sorted, my back is now killing me and I am an emotional wreck from being manipulated, yelled at and misunderstood all weekend, just in time to go to work for one of the busiest days of the month. Ugh. For those of you that have cohesive families please appreciate the heck out of it because those of us who have a big, fat wreck of a family that only deals with each other in emergency situations (that God, I couldn't handle much more) are more envious than you know.

The Temp

2007-08-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

We have this temp at work that is driving me nuts. He is a nice enough guy but has no business working in our department. He has somehow managed to take a project that I used to work on at most a few hours a week and turn it into a full time job for the past 9 months. He takes leisurely long breaks and lunch hours, he leaves early to go to class, he spends the majority of his work time on the internet (even going as far as having his Yahoo account open on his desktop throughout the day. Other than an occasional email to a supervisor, this temp really has no reason to be on the computer at all. I've pointed out to him numerous times that our company monitors internet usage so if he was indeed trying to get hired on as a permanent employee (in a different department) it might be good idea to quit being on the internet so much. When that approach didn't work I finally took the guy aside and told him he was really ticking the rest of our department off because the money paying his salary was coming out of our department budget and the rest of us were working our butts off because my supervisor didn't want to spend money on another employee yet we were essentially subsidizing this guy's social life. That didn't work either. He was self absorbed and I think just didn't even realize that what he was doing was so out of line for the work place (the only real job he has had previously was working in a mail room). I know you are asking yourself why wasn't your supervisor doing anything? Well, you know how some people have blinders on because they don't want to see the truth? That scenario is alive and well here. She doesn't chose to recognize that he doesn't know how to use a 10-key calculator, that he stammers on the phone to the point of complete ineffectiveness while trying to relay company policies to employees, that he is always the first one to know if Lindsay was arrested again or if the highway is closed, if he takes a 30 minute 15 minute break, etc.

Well, the other day, while the temp was gone on his break or lunch or whatever...since he does very little while he is there we don't always notice when he is gone, a "tech" guy stormed into our office asking my supervisor which computer was #562281 or something like that. She pointed to our temps computer and the IT guy unplugged it and make this big fuss about nobody logging in as their was a virus and security risk, blah blah blah (remember that I work for a publicly traded company and the confidentially of information is of highest importance). The guy was gone just as fast as he had come in and my boss and I were left reliving the scenario which simulated the scenes in the movie Brazil (my favorite movie by the way) where the government broke into the family home, abducted an innocent father and then disappeared again.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because of that virus my boss has now placed a strict no personal email accounts policy on each of us in our department. No Yahoo, no Gmail, you name it. I can still shop on eBay and beat to death my Google skills but those privileges are no doubt short lived. All because of this damn temp who never should have been working for our department in the first place. He is probably feeling it most of all at this point (funny, now he doesn't have any work to do and has a hard time pretending that he does). So I continually walk by his desk, refuse to make eye contact and point out that his inbox is empty (yeah, I'm a bitch to him but the dude has totally worn out his welcome). Problem is, one of these days he will walk out of these doors to another job and (hopefully) I'll be at this same job for years. His self-centeredness has cost me a significant benefit of my job (with dial up at home it was so refreshing to be able to look at photos, etc while on my lunch at work).

At a previous job (where we didn't have any internet access) I pointed out to the owner of the company that in this day and age it isn't realistic not to offer internet services for your employees. It is like a phone. It's just a sign of the times. In order to attract and keep good employees you need to offer them that tool. That tool is gone from me and I am oh so sad.

Ads of the '80s

2007-08-01T06:21:00.000-07:00

Do any of you remember Slurpee rock cups? For those of you that don't, they were part of a fantastically successful ad campaign in the early 80's that had a tag line of "7-11's got Slurpee rock cups!"

For some reason I find myself singing that ad line over and over at various times. It just pops into my head. I really have no idea why. Anyhow, I randomly chose to Google it. I Google everything. It's an obsession. I'm a Googlist. Well, it turns out I'm not the only one who sings it. When I Googled the phrase "Slurpee rock cups" the first half dozen results were people writing about how they sing that phrase over and over and don't know why.

Is there some ratio to how many you purchased somehow effecting how much you think of the ad? Obviously that could have something to do with it. I purchased a lot of Slurpees (in fact I still love them). In high school it was common practice for us to go to 7-11 after soccer practice and get either a Slurpee or a Big Gulp...or in the times of daily double practices we would get both.

Slurpee rock cups had little round flicker sticker pog type items inserted into a false pocket on the bottom of each cup. Each pog advertised a particular band. Looking back now I realize that at least some of the bands must have been fairly indie types as R.E.M. was the one I remember particularly and was my favorite band back in the day (and still one today). Well, in the early 80s nobody knew who R.E.M. was. In fact I saw them for the first time in '83 at the Schnitzer and the place was so empty many people didn't have anyone in the seats next to them. I got a fantastic shirt at that concert (my favorite ever) and wore it non-stop the next year at the University of Oregon and people would often ask me who that was. My point being that 7-11 having that band on a card in one of their Slurpee drinks now seems fairly inconceivable.

I remember that card because I still had it up until a year or so ago. A rather annoying student named Mike Wilson who did the ad sales for the school paper signed my yearbook (I dated the editor of the school paper my Senior year so I hung around in the press room a lot) with an exceeding graphic drawing of a frog being seduced by a human (ah, hormones). To cover up the gross image I took my R.E.M. Slurpee rock cup card and stuck it directly over the frog. The sticker stayed there until I decided to sell it on eBay when I sold the rest of my R.E.M. fan club newsletters and collectibles. It didn't go for a lot, maybe $5.00 or so and I kinda wish I still had it (if nothing else to continue to cover the damn frog picture).

Nevertheless, even just yesterday I caught myself singing "7-11's got Slurpee rock cups!" and I still can't figure out why.

The 7th book.

2007-07-26T07:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I finished the seventh book. Not the 7th book that most of you are talking about (the last Harry Potter). Instead it was my seventh novel by Douglas Coupland. This last one was Eleanor Rigby and is probably my favorite so far (I have the new one, the first one and Miss Wyoming still left to read). Mr. Coupland tells kind of bizarre stories but uses such great characters that I can't help but be curiously fascinated at their adventures. Eleanor Rigby was written from the perspective of an overweight, middle aged woman and I never would have guessed that the author was male. Normally I prefer to read women writers but this past year I have pretty much only read books written by men.

I've nearly exhausted the library of David Sedaris and now that my Coupland pickings are few and far between (I generally only read used copies that I find at a good price so I'm not entirely in control of my reading shelf) I have switched my attention to Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a Boy, etc.). I mainly only read on the bus so whatever I read has to be the type of book that you are instantly enthralled with or it would be too hard to motivate myself to read rather than blindly stare out the window (an underrated activity I'll have you know). As my friend Greg says, "Oh, Sedaris is perfect for the bus! Except everyone will wonder why you are laughing out loud." Exactly. Coupland was also good on the bus because it easily allowed me to tune everyone else out (which frankly if you have ridden the #12 bus lately you will know what I mean). The only book I have read by Hornby so far is How to be Good which I loved and being how much I adored the movie High Fidelity (and not just because of John Cusack and Jack Black) and enjoyed the movie About a Boy, I have high hopes for the one I started today, A Long Way Down.

The feline Kevorkian

2007-07-25T15:11:00.001-07:00

Check this out.

Long time no blog.

2007-07-24T15:56:00.001-07:00

Yep, I haven't written in awhile. Frankly I just haven't been in the mood. So, just to keep your attention I figured I'd take the last few minutes of my break at work to update some stuff.

Barry White, the stray cat has been making several daily visits, is eating about 1.5 cans of expensive organic cat food a day, starting to "talk" to me a bit but his voice doesn't really let meows out very well (I suspect he is out of the habit of doing much other than hissing). He looks as thin and scruffy as I've ever seen a cat look. I'm a bit taxed money wise but once I have the funds he'll be going in as I doubt he'll make it through the winter without an intervention.

The torso mannequin or whatever it was on my neighbor's porch that spooked me so much has never appeared again so I don't know the answer to that mystery. I did however see a person at the neighborhood park the other day who was quite petite and the only limb she had was one leg which made me wonder...

I believe I've only eaten out twice since my last vegan disappointment. One was at an entirely vegetarian restaurant where I asked about each item on my plate specifically and the second was at Baja Fresh where I feel relatively confident their ingredients are as they state. By the way, a rice/beans plate with a side of Pronto guacamole will get you way more food then you need for under $4!

My friend Darren is still in the Sheridan Federal Detention Center waiting to be "classified" and moved to his final destination (of which is still a mystery). He can't have any visitors other than family (who all live in Canada) but his spirits are pretty high because he now has a full size toothbrush, a full size pencil, an ink pen, shoes other than plastic slippers, cotton gym shorts, etc. These are all things he has gone without since December 2005 when he was first arrested. Interestingly enough he is also locked in a cell 23 hours of the day with one of his co-accused, a guy that he has known for 12 years. Jails, they are mean and they are strangely generous. Go figure.

Well, my break is over. I'll see about a real post, real soon.

This is my scorned vegan entry of the day.

2007-07-16T15:26:00.000-07:00

I didn't manage my time well enough this morning to make lunch. That and my kitchen is so trashed right now that the health inspector would totally shut me down if they saw it. Normally I make my lunch everyday. It's cheaper, healthier and helps me eat all of those darn veggies I get delivered.

However, since I didn't make lunch today I decided to order a pizza from a cafe right around the corner called Oliver Twisted. I should have gone to Veganopolis but I was being lazy (it's a bit of a walk there and back in my short half hour break time). At the very least I should have just walked to Safeway and bought something processed. But instead I figured I'd buck up, buy a pizza and have leftovers for tomorrow's lunch.

I called ahead so it would be ready when I got there and I waited around in the lobby while the seemingly useless staff did everything other than actually help me. I listened to the employee who was supposedly helping me train a new employee on how to include tips in the jar when people pay with credit cards. I paid for my pizza and went back to my cube. Mind you I have had a heck of a day at work at this time and just needed to eat my lunch in peace.

Guess what? The vegan pizza had non-vegan cheese on it. Doh! And guess what? By that time I didn't have enough time to go buy something else. Guess what I had for lunch? Pretzels from the vending machine. Whohoo!

Now some of you uninformed folks are thinking to yourself, "Well that's just stupid...the pizza is already made, just go ahead and eat it." That might work in theory (although I'd debate you on it) but the reality is if you don't eat dairy for twenty years you don't then decide to just jump in and do it again. I made that mistake once while at a wedding (and under the influence of much champagne) with a blackberry brie cheese concoction. Not a pretty picture.

Needless to say, folks on my floor were happy to get the email that a warm veggie pizza was lying unattended in the copy room.

And this makes the world a better place how?

2007-07-12T06:38:00.000-07:00

Most of you know my friend Darren plead guilty to charges of eco-sabotage recently. His sentencing is for 37 months, which much has been served already as he was arrested in December of 2005 and has been in the jail system ever since. After his sentencing he was sent back to the Multnomah County Inverness Jail where I have visited him weekly since shortly after his arrest.

The Friday before last I went to the jail for a visit as was normal routine only to find that Darren was no longer there. All the guard could tell me was that the U.S. Marshals had taken him the day before. He didn't know exactly where he was taken, but figured it was to the federal prison in Sheridan, Oregon. (This was later confirmed through an "inmate locator" on the Bureau of Prisoners website). Now we figured that he would be taken there eventually but of course had no warning whatsoever. No goodbyes, just gone. It is a strange and abrupt end to a friendship that was rekindled after ten years of separation. I left the jail with a sense of loss and worry. At least seeing Darren on a weekly basis I had some sort of indication that he was okay...I knew where he was, I could visibly see that he was physically okay, I could get some insight into whether or not he was holding up.

Now Darren is gone into the federal prison system. He seemingly has no contact with the outside world until he is "classified" and given access to a phone and/or visitors, which may take weeks. This is a tense time. Just the last time I visited Darren he told me that the guards at MCIJ had chosen to place in general population the obviously mentally ill man who had allowed his mother to lay on the living room floor for weeks in her own waste. They placed him with a group of inmates the night the man's story was running on the news. Needless to say, the man did not have a good nights sleep. By morning he was transferred out of general population with a gash in his forward and numerous other injuries. You can therefore understand why I am nervous for Darren's safety as he is now being housed in a federal prison.

It helps that Darren is quite streetwise (after years of living on the run underground and a few years in jail previously) and has some survival skills for living in the "inside." It also helps that when the inmates ask him what he is in prison for he can tell them that it is for conspiracy and releasing wild horses that the government had captured to put up for sale so that federal lands could be leased to farmers at a loss so that farmers can graze their cattle. Darren can also hand them a several page story from The Rolling Stone that inmates can read about his case. Darren's crime garners him a bit more respect in jail but of course none of them are completely safe. If nothing else, even if the inmates don't abuse him you can be sure that the guards aren't above taking action against him.

Therefore you can understand the eery feelilng I got when I came home last night to a box on my porch that held nothing other than the clothes Darren was arrested in...tennis shoes, jeans, a few long sleeve shirts and a jacket. No note, no explanation, just the clothes that have been sitting at the jail since December of 2005 and that he wore while being transferred to Sheridan. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have my friend taken away with no contact only to receive a box of his clothes in the mail. Shortly I will be asked to pick up Darren's personal items that the FBI confiscated from his apartment after they arrested him (laptops, phones, cds, video tapes, etc) that they no longer need for the prosecution. My friend is gone and in his place I have bags and bags of letters and mail he received while in jail, books he read (prisoners can only keep so many personal items with them), pictures he released to me so that I can mail them to him later once he has reached permanent residence somewhere and his clothes.

Meanwhile I am studying the twenty page guide of visiting prisoners in federal prison...you can embrace only twice and only for a brief moment, once when you first arrive, once as you leave. You can't wear shorts or skirts or revealing clothing of any kind. You have to agree to take random drug tests. You had to have contact with the prisoner prior to his incarceration and you have to have some sort of influence on his life once he is released.

The prison system is supposedly to protect the public from criminals and to help them learn to live within our system. I am witnessing first hand that all they do is expose the inmates to all sorts of ugly elements, place them in fear for their saftey and serve as a place to alienate people from the outside world, the people that most need to not be alienated. Jails and prisons are not making the world a better place.

What's this about not looking a gift horse in the mouth?

2007-07-11T07:00:00.001-07:00

I once received a horse as a gift...September 1979 as a matter of fact. And that "gift" was part of my life through sometime in 2002 or so. In that time I looked my "gift" horse in the mouth more times than you can possibly imagine (I taught her to kiss which took quite a few views and then once she learned how to kiss, counting the number of times I looked at her mouth became impossible). Not to mention she also had tooth issues in her later years (I have a couple of her teeth by the way which is kinda gross I suppose) which required mouth viewing.

Why do I bring all this horse mouth stuff up? Well, I have another vegan rant. Sorry for dwelling on the same subject but hey it's too frickin' hot in this place these days and that just causes the pissiness to rise to the top like cream.

Yesterday was my birthday and I spent nearly the entire year looking forward to having my (cheesy stupid ceremonial and department wide hated) birthday gathering at work. The lucky one gets to pick their special choice of dessert and we all stand around and watch each other eat until one of the bigwigs says we can leave. It always sucks for me because with the exception of when people choose fruit I can't eat the stuff anyhow (because it isn't vegan) so I just stand there stupidly and watch them eat. Well yesterday was supposed to be the day that everyone was going to eat a great, award winning chocolate three layer cake from Piece of Cake bakery in Westmoreland. Didn't happen quite that way.

Turns out my boss (or I suspect maybe her boss) decided that most people probably wouldn't like eating a vegan cake so they got me a condensed version of the cake I had suggested(single layer small which made it look like a brownie) and ordered a giant non-vegan cake for everyone else (not to mention the cake they ordered actually comes in a vegan variety but they got the kind with eggs and dairy instead). Now, a better person than I wouldn't have had their nose out of joint like I did but I'm not that better person. I'm vegan because I think it is wrong to eat animals as well as eat things that come out of animals (such as milk and eggs). To be frank it pisses me off that on my birthday people chose to celebrate with a non-vegan cake just because they are too veganphobic (I just came up with that word yesterday and you can bet I'll be using it a lot) to buck up and eat a vegan cake for one day out of the year. Never do they refuse to eat the vegan donuts I bring in fairly often from VooDoo Donuts and Might-O Donuts from Seattle. They all love the vegan banana muffins I bring in for them. But oh no, on my birthday they give me this condensed version of the cake I asked for (making it look like something cooked in an Easy Bake oven) and themselves eat this hugely stacked cake for themselves. Urgh.

Okay rant over. I was never gonna make it without posting how pissed I was. Combine my offense at animal products being used to celebrate my birthday with the fact that they never consider that I can't eat their celebratory feasts every other birthday and needless to say I was offended.

The day wasn't a complete bust though...while I didn't win, or even come close to winning, and I nearly died from the smoke, I did have a very enjoyable and air conditioned evening at the local bingo hall!

Your next number is in the monitor...this ain't your grandma's bingo!

Oh, by the way, thank you tons to all of you who ordered art cards to support my quest to make a collage for every I have been on this planet...the orders went way over my request of 40. It's gonna take me awhile to get them all done (and I'll post when they've been sent) but I really appreciate everyone's support of my crazy idea!

Are you getting enough protein?

2007-07-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is a question vegans get asked all the time. How do you get enough protein? Drives me nuts. Humans really don't need near as much protein as people generally think, in fact it would be difficult to eat a well rounded diet and not get enough protein.

I was out to dinner with my dad, his wife and her family tonight to celebrate her birthday (and sort of mine). Despite the fact that I have eaten meals a couple of times a year with these people for the past several years, somehow when we go out to eat the topic of my veganism always comes up.

Tonight I asked them if anyone ever asks them if they are eating a nutritionally balanced diet. Of course not. Nobody ever mentions to carnivores that they should be concerned about what they eat but take an herbivore approach to eating and all of a sudden people are so concerned about your health.

The funny thing tonight was that this conversation was happening right when the waitress brought out our food. Above is what I was having for dinner. Below is what my dad ate. I pointed out the differences and asked the table, "Now who are you worried about?"

Barry White Update Part 2

2007-07-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I was outside watering some plants when a woman drove up in her car and got out. I figured she was one of my local eBay customers come to pick up some Fisher Price Little People but she said that she wanted to talk to me about Jasper.

Turns out the cat that is Barry White to me is Jasper to the woman who lives on the next block.

This woman had been talking to some neighbors who have been feeding Barry White for several years and have recently sold their house. When she inquired what was going to happen to the stray cat they said that they knew that I had been feeding him recently as well.

I learned a little more history about him...he used to belong to people who lived a few houses down my street and was left behind many years ago when they moved. Since then he has been on his own, beg, borrowing and stealing from kind hearted folks in the neighborhood. It is so absolutely amazing he has survived this long.

Anyhow, this woman has fed him on and off for years as well and just wanted to touch base with me to make sure that he is going to be taken care of. I told her that I intended on catching him and taking him to the vet to be treated for his upper respiratory infection and that I intend on caring for him. She offered to let me borrow a trap that she has to catch him and left me with her name and phone number.

This morning I looked out my bedroom window and saw him sleeping in the bushes in my backyard and was so sorry he wasn't able to curl up on the bed with me and the other critters. Knowing that he once had a family to call home and was eventually just abandoned is so sad. But now I'm hopeful that maybe one day I'll actually be able to befriend him even more and remind him how wonderful it can be to have a person who cares for you.

I don't think I'm crazy.

2007-07-06T13:45:00.000-07:00

So I had probably one of the most creepy experiences of my life yesterday and I haven't recovered from it yet. I'll let you all in on the scenario only if you promise not to laugh at me.

I was walking to the bus stop and went down a street I nearly always use. As I approached this one house I noticed what appeared to be a mannequin torso on the porch. The house is a little dumpy and you don't see mannequins in my current neighborhood like I did back when I lived in the Hawthorne neighborhood but it isn't that bizarre, this is Portland after all.

Anyhow I was staring quite intensively at the mannequin, one because I hadn't seen it before, two because it was the day after 4th of July and everything was covered in burnt explosive materials and three because there was also a black cat on the porch. As I continued walking down the sidewalk it felt like the mannequins eyes were following me. I thought to myself, "Hmmm, this is like those paintings where the eyes seem to be looking at you no matter where you are standing." I kept staring because it was so captivating.

However, just as I was about to pass the house the torso smiled at me. The hairs on my body immediately stood up and a chill went through my body. Out of nervousness or dutiful politeness or whatever I smiled back and kept on walking.

As I continued down the block I was so disturbed and confused and frightened. Was I nuts thinking it smiled at me? Was it a mannequin or was it actually a human? I didn't see any legs, there was no place the legs could have been unless the person was standing up through the porch. And what about the arms. Okay, frankly I'm still creeped out by this.

When I got into work yesterday I told a few of my co-workers (only the ones that know I'm not nuts) and they could see how spooked I was and they got creeped out as well. This morning one of them came to me first thing and asked what it turned out to be.

I haven't gone by the house again. After work yesterday I went to water aerobics and came home on a different bus and today I walked down a different street because I was afraid of what I might see.

Tomorrow I plan on driving by with someone else in the car to witness it.

Trust me, I'm not one to imagine things. I'm really not.

His and Hers

2007-07-06T05:46:00.001-07:00

Several of you have asked for an update about Barry White, the stray cat I've tried to befriend and catch to take him to the vet. No luck. I failed catching him one afternoon (3 times) and now he really won't let me get near him. Last night I came home and he was on my back deck and let me walk around him and he even sort of meows at me (not a whole lot comes out) but I have had to begin the process of gaining his trust all over again.

He is really skinny but I don't know how much of that is years without proper food, worms or other health issues or just "old cat body." As many of you no doubt know, when cats age they eventually slim down naturally, sometimes to such a state that it can be quite noticeable. My cat Max for instance (who is 15 years old) is really quite bony (not very pleasant to pet) but he is so fluffy you hardly notice it without touching him.

The plan with Barry White now is to contact the Feral Cat Coalition and borrow a trap that is spring loaded so I don't even have to be present. FCC's resources are precious so I am hoping to not to have to resort to them for the medical procedures (they are pretty much a spay/neuter/release program anyhow), but their advice regarding catching Mr. Barry White I am sure will be valuable.

Starlight by candlelight.

2007-07-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday night my friends Greg, Dixie and I went to see a lounge act. The last time the three of us did that together was seeing Richard Cheese in Vegas a few years back (Greg and I have seen Mr. Cheese again at Dante's since then but being that I wasn't drinking or sitting I've determined it wasn't technically a lounge act). Yesterday's lounge act was actually right here in my neighborhood however, at Tony Starlight's Supper Club on 37th and Sandy Blvd.

I saw Tony perform many a time at the now defunct Club 1201 many years ago. During his prior performances I saw Tony mock dead grunge stars and classic rockers while dressed like Frank Sinatra in a velvet smoking jacket with a microphone in one hand and a martini in the other. Tony has an amazing ability to imitate voices and writes hysterical new lyrics for songs we all know. At Saturday's show for instance we heard his impression of Dave Matthews singing a promotional ad for Big K and an entire tribute to Neil Diamond and Christopher Cross. Tony is backed by a three piece jazz band (with a piano player that is the spitting image of Chris O'Donnell) that provide musical interludes while Tony changes clothing preparing for a routine as another washed up performer.

Not only will you find yourself entertained by the performances at the supper club, you will be impressed with what Tony has done to the club. This particular corner of Sandy has seen many businesses: a strip club, a health food restaurant, a Mexican cafe and one of my all time favorite music spots, The Blackbird (which had the best vegan buffalo wings a girl could wish for). It has long been troubled by a lack of parking (although Mr. Starlight has shown his business savvy by arranging for parking spaces in the Banfield Motel kitty corner from his club) and unrealistic business plans but I think Tony has created a viable contribution to the neighborhood. The transformation of a cold awkward interior into a swanky, vintage club is outstanding. The wait staff are fantastic, the garlic fries were yummy, the drinks were great, the prices reasonable.

I have nothing bad to say about this place. I was excited to visit, pleasantly surprised and can't wait to return.

Treat yourself to a visit at Tony Starlight's Supper Club. Take friends and coworkers, laugh, drink, sing along and help make sure the place survives.

My luck even surprises me.

2007-06-30T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days at Goodwill. One of the days when I am charmed. In fact it was almost comical at one point, as if all I needed to do was close my eyes and reach into one of the bins and the first thing I'd touch would be something I've been wanting or one of my favorite things to collect. My ability to do this is really uncanny and wonderful with the exception of being a might bit unnerving.

I have been cleaning out my basement in a big way lately and what I'm always in need of are good shelves. I have some really nice wood ones that I got at Fred Meyer years ago on clearance for a steal and I've been wanting more but the normal retail for them are way too much. Well, today I found an even bigger set of the same kind of shelves at as-is for $5.00. (They aren't pictured as I have to go back tomorrow and pick them up). A few minutes later I found one of those nice metal shelving units in the original box with all of the pieces for $5.00 as well. Good shelving karma is never something to under appreciate.

Next I found a super cute and totally my "old-lady-ultra girly-shabby-chic" style, off white wire basket. Almost immediately I knew this was the perfect container to hold my cat Zoey's salad bar (she doesn't go outside so I give her wheat grass that I buy already grown at the grocery store...she loves it!). $2.00 for the basket, $4.00 for a couple of containers of wheat grass and my den now has a lovely centerpiece that will no doubt help prolong the lives of the plants on top of my filing cabinet (the theory being that if Zoey has her own plants to tend to she'll leave mine alone).

The other finds of the day included a nice wooden cabinet thingee. All of the furniture in my house is either metal or painted, distressed wood so when I find real wood pieces that would be easy to paint I get very happy. Plus, I am an absolute cabinet whore so I get particularly happy when the wooden pieces I find have doors. Stay tuned for the "after" photo to go with these "before" pictures. I'm thinking maybe a new nightstand or bathroom shelf.

As you can see I managed to pick up several other things as well, including: about 25 cardstock pieces (perfect for creating my collage pieces to send to all of you lovely people who mailed me $2...a great find as I had been rummaging through recycle bins trying to decide which type of material to use), 3 Melmac plates in a shabby chic pattern, a few toys for resell, tons of tags for crafting and for pricing things when I sell at craft bazaars, a plain canvas bag (one of the items I'm entertaining selling at the next holiday bazaar are reconditioned canvas shopping bags), miscellaneous collage papers and accoutrements, a bag of wooden blocks shaped like dominoes (I have a specific project in mind for these), oil cloth scraps (thinking maybe an oilcloth ATC series), an absolutely huge amount of these double sided adhesive strips that originally sold for $2.49 for pack of 8 (I got about 30 different packages for $1.59/pound), quite a few envelopes and greeting cards, a bunch of Seal-a-Meal bags, a picture frame, several craft stickers/papers and a baby afghan for Carley's wee one! All items, including the two shelving units and the wooden cabinet, were purchased for $36.42. (Mind you the metal shelving unit still has the original price tag on it of $24.99).

Truth in advertising.

2007-06-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

My new hair cut 24 hrs later.

Summer Camp

2007-06-28T22:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks the end of my second week of water aerobics for this year. Every Summer for the last few years I have enrolled in a water exercise class at a community center a mile or so from my house (the same community center where I took tumbling classes as a kid). This center has an outdoor pool which makes the classes even more enjoyable. As soon as I got in the water for the first time Monday before last I remembered how much I love working out in the water. Without the impact of regular aerobics, water ex provides a fantastic workout with the added benefit of the resistance from moving through the water. As someone who has struggled with a bad back for years (and recently a bad knee) I appreciate having the ability to work out vigorously without being in pain doing so.

Apparently the shallow end was still too deep for this guy.

6" less of me.

2007-06-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

$2 Birthday Present

2007-06-26T15:36:00.000-07:00

In a matter of days I'll be 40. I haven't even begun to process what that means for me yet. I'm in for some changes apparently. I'm getting my hair chopped Thursday for the first time in about five years (I've had trims over that time but nothing major), I'm interviewing for a new job on Thursday as well (same company, different position) which is in a completely different field than I have worked in before (I've been doing accounting in one form or another since the late 80s). Things are changing. Maybe I'm becoming settled? Grown up? Tired of it all? Who knows. But I'm old enough to know to just roll with it and that it will all work out okay.

When I turned 30 I decided that rather than be disappointed by what happened (or didn't) on my birthday that I would make specific activity plans for each year. For the last ten years I have done so...an all girl dinner party at Montage, a Sleater-Kinney concert at the Crystal, camping in Washington, go carts at Malibu Grand Prix, bowling, sing along Willy Wonka (which Greg said was boring), sky diving (because Greg said Willy Wonka was boring), an all women's 5k walk, a mosaic craft party and more.

This year I want to do something different.

I was recently delighted to find out that my favorite collage artist has opened a store on Etsy.com. I have admired her work for sometime and I have decided to commission a piece of work from her.

Rather than just writing a check to Claudine I decided that I want to pay for the collage piece with money that I gather for collage work that I create. My proposal is that I will mail out a collage piece of art mail for every $2.00 I receive. My goal is to sell 40 of these cards by July 10th. Buy one for yourself, one for your mom, your dog, your co-worker, your mail carrier, the cute guy at the local coffee shop, grandma, your boss, your massage therapist, the bartender...as many as you want. Simply enclose $2 cash in an envelope with the following information on it and in return I will mail out a custom made art card.

Your name, address, and who the card is for.
Name and address of who I should send the card to.
Preferred theme of card: dog/cat, political, food, children, fashion, art or ???

Mail your request to "The Alt Martha" at PO Box 56404, Pdx OR 97238-6404.

Simpson's Quote of the Day

2007-06-24T20:29:00.001-07:00

"I hate milk! It comes from cow wangs!"

True dat Nelson, true dat.

I was watching Mad TV...

2007-06-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

Caught a rerun Mad TV episode this weekend and was very entertained to find myself watching a skit taking place inside my car! Apparently Toyota paid for several "placements" to have the car in the show over a period of several months because their target audience is the age of those who watch Mad TV.

This promo I once saw in a movie theater lobby. Love it.

This one is just plain funny.

The countdown begins.

2007-06-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

In 9 days something is going to happen to me. See if you can guess what it is. As the day draws near I'll offer hints if necessary.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

2007-06-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Last night when I arrived home after work there was a veggie delivery waiting for me. It had been two weeks since I saw one of those lovely boxes as last week was a bit tight financially so I skipped a shipment (thanks to my neighbor and her veggie garden and husband who isn't so fond of veggies I didn't starve thank goodness).

Maybe it was because the food is all stuff I really love (don't have to talk myself into anything this time), with the exception being plums perhaps (don't know that I don't like them, rather I think I've never had one...roll your eyes now). Maybe it was because I had just returned from the first water aerobics class of the week (it isn't just for old ladies I'll have you know). Or maybe it was because I didn't have any produce delivered for a week, but I had never been so happy to see fruit and veggies in my life.

I Heart Skater Boys

2007-06-19T06:54:00.001-07:00

My neighborhood, known as "that place on Sandy with all of the Asian restaurants" or "that area of town you have to move to because you can't afford to live any closer to town" is being infiltrated with a new breed of folks. Skateboarders. They have come out of the woodwork to loiter at the new skate park right next to Madison High School blocks from my house. Hundreds of them gather there daily interspersed with bmx cyclists and a few in line skaters. Normally I do not enjoy watching sports at all, it is like the idea of watching someone craft. Why not do it yourself rather than watch others do it? But the X games era of sports has changed my mind. These guys (and gals I'm proud to say) do things that I can't hardly even believe they do, much less do myself. They are amazing and I could watch them for hours.

Now Daddy's Board Shop has moved their shop from further down Sandy to a few blocks from my house as well. I'm ecstatic about it. Look out strip clubs and sexy kitty boutiques with patrons that have mudflaps with naked women on them and make room for the skater kids!

$21.65

2007-06-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

The Goodwill outlet store saw me coming today. Barely in the door and found a vintage Fisher Price Little People school house just like the one I got for my 4th birthday. A few minutes later and I also had the family house. These finds were followed by a hand crafted Jell-O quilt (for resale), a set of Scrabble tiles for crafting, Lite Brite pegs, some new padded mailing envelopes, three canvas shopping bags, a plaid shirt, an Old Navy purse, a plastic light up Santa, three vhs tapes including "The Year without a Santa Claus", the first DVD from the 4th season of Friends and a copy of "Vinnie's Giant Roller Coaster Period Chart and Journal Sticker Book" so that I can better "know my flow."

So close and yet so far.

2007-06-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

I don't generally consider myself to be naive. In fact, I generally think the opposite. That changed this weekend. I was completely naive about how difficult it would be to catch a feral cat who has lived on his own for at least the last seven years.

I finally found a vet to treat him. I had the money set aside to pay for it. All I needed to do was catch the cat. The first attempt involved me kneeling on the front porch with just a plate of food separating Barry White and me. Slowly I lifted my arm to above him and then quickly tried to grab the scruff of his neck. I worked at a vet clinic that specialized in aggressive cats so I had done this numerous times but when you grab a cat that hasn't been touched by a human in years you just don't stand a chance. He jumped into the air and was gone.

The second attempt was to lure him into the cage with food. He was halfway in when I was in the house. As I opened the screen on my house he took off.

Third attempt. He was fully in the cage eating and I had a string attached to the cage door so as he ate I pulled the string while hiding behind the screen door. I got the cage door closed but couldn't get out my door fast enough to fasten it before Barry pushed it open and took off.

Now I have lost his trust and feel bad for harassing the poor guy.

The Non-Profit Type

2007-06-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

Apparently I am a "type."

I was attempting to mow my lawn the other day (attempted because my allergies are so out of control nowadays that 15 minutes in nature is about all I can handle) when a newish neighbor rode her bike by my house. As she passed me she said "I saw you in the paper! I love your place!" That was an ice breaker I couldn't refuse, of course so we started talking. She wanted to know where I work. I sort of sheepishly said I did accounting for an insurance company. I then had to qualify that with the fact that I worked for non profits for ten years before I sold out and went corporate. Her response? "Yeah, you looked like the non-profit type, I figured." That isn't the first time I've been told that, several times in fact. Which has got me to thinking...what makes me look like a non-profit type?

My glasses I know make me look more studious than if I wore contacts. It isn't the reason I wear glasses but it is a side effect that I like. The fact that I don't wear makeup I'm sure has something to do with it, that my hair is long and not dyed or overly processed. My clothes? Yeah, I suppose although not near as much these days and they once did.

And what exactly does being the "non-profit type" really mean? Does it mean it appears I work towards ending injustice in the world? Does it mean I look like I don't have much money? A do-gooder? Thoughtful? And if I do look like the non-profit type does that mean that the people I see in the halls at my corporate job look at me and think that I am out of place? In the wrong element? Or do they think that I finally gave up on trying to make the world a better place in order to make a little bit more disposable income?

Of course I was complimented by her (and the others) assessment. My mother once told me that she saw one of my roles as an activist being the mainstream person at work espousing radical views that shocked many of my coworkers (wait, you support the liberation of mink destined to be killed on fur farms?) and as the mainstream person at the anarchist riots who looks like one of "them" but is really just as pissed off as they are. While it often makes me feel like a fish out of water I am happy playing that role (most of the time) and I suspect that looking like the "non-profit type" helps me pull it off.

Yuck.

2007-06-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

Here is a website to get your skin crawling. A few months ago I thought I had an outbreak of fleas in my house (which didn't make sense as I don't see any flea dirt or eggs and I treat my guys for fleas), now I know it is something else...apparently a moth or beetle cocoon. Pretty gross topic, but the website is a nice resource.

The Zucchini Dilemma

2007-06-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

I've solved my zucchini dilemma. Digging through my stack of recipes (I sure seem to have a lot considering I don't really cook) I found a little pink piece of paper from a church newsletter (there are Sunday School references on the back) that was no doubt left in a cookbook that I salvaged from the recycling center where I once worked (we were the only place on the west coast that recycled books and we received several tons each week. I was free to dig through the piles and take home as many as I liked. Thankfully I was commuting by bike then and was limited to whatever I could fit into my bike bags and trailer--I used to take my dog to work in one of those trailers built for kids--because otherwise I would have to move to a bigger house).

Anyhow, I morphed Eva Eubanks' recipe a bit to veganize it and adapt it to the available ingredients I had in the house and they turned out quite good.

Eva and Elaine's Vegan Zucchini Drop Cookies:

Thoroughly combine 1 cup of grated zucchini, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup margarine and 1/2 of a banana. Add 2 cups flour, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon and 1/2 teaspoon of ground cloves. Mix in 1/4 c rice milk (more if needed). Drop by spoonfuls onto cookie sheet and bake for 12-15 minutes at 375 degrees.

Timing

2007-06-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

I've been up since 4:30 a.m. I was awake before that but didn't actually get up until then. Couldn't sleep. The dog's stomach was gurgling (and of course she was insistent on lying so close to me I thought at first that it was my stomach), the cat was lying in the middle of the pillow, one of those moments where it is pointless to just stay in bed when there are plenty of things I could be doing.

So I made breakfast (dinner actually since I try to eat my meals reversed). Today it was a corn bisque (pre-packed in an aseptic container--very recyclable by the way--by Imagine Foods and VERY good) with collard greens, steamed veggies with nutritional yeast, ice tea and a sample of the apricot/peach/nectarine type thing I cooked up because my fruit was getting soft and which I will be putting into some muffins for when my crafty soul sister Norma comes over tomorrow.

On the kitchen counter is the contents of an envelope I received in the mail yesterday from my father. Out of nowhere he sent me my original birth certificate (I thought it was thrown away years ago when he sold our childhood house), the stub from my original social security card, a class picture from kindergarten and several photos of me at a horse show in Gearhart, Oregon in the mid to late 70's (my hand is bandaged because shortly before the show I fell down a flight of stairs in our back yard with a glass vase in my hand and had to get stitches). This was a fun and random envelope to receive. The timing was fantastic too as I was days away from ordering a replacement copy of my birth certificate so that I can finally get a passport and visit my friend Greg in Vancouver, B.C.

Why are cats most photogenic when you haven't swept?

2007-06-08T06:47:00.001-07:00

Peek
A-Boo

Do this, done that.

2007-06-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

So far today: Dug through the disaster that is my basement to find some things, did laundry, swept (at least part of) the living room, put away some craft supplies, watched Amy Sedaris on Martha (Martha totally had her hands full and didn't know what to do with Amy...but hey, Amy is what's hot right now so Martha had to host her), sorted through toys to sell on eBay (Lite Brite pegs have totally saturated the market right now so I'm forced to branch out), surfed a bit on the web.

Still to do today: Put produce away, sweep the rest of the living room, clean the cat box, do more laundry, complete the eBay listings I put up earlier (which means packaging and weighing the items made so much more complicated now due to the frickin' post office creating the new regulations), visiting Darren in jail, going to the store to buy cat food (this homeless dude burns through cat food like a Hummer does fuel), find the vintage free standing toilet paper holder somewhere in my basement to mail to Teagen for her new apartment, mow the lawn (that is so not going to happen I bet), take a shower, return a video (Let Sleeping Dogs Lie...written and directed by Bobcat Golthwait and frankly one of the absolutely worst films I have seen in a very, very long time) and clean this ridiculous stack of dirty dishes (the problem with eating so many veggies is that I cook and then I have to clean up but I'm much more fond of eating than I am cleaning).

If you are what you eat, does that mean I'm a fruit?

2007-06-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

I am enjoying the third day of my four day weekend (took two vacation days just cuz) so I was home when my veggie delivery from Organics-To-You arrived. New this week are honeydew melon, peaches and collard greens. Thankfully I didn't get any onions this week (I've given a ton away and can only eat so many without people telling me I stink) but I did get four more zucchini (I still have several left over from last week). I can only eat so much of it (raw on salads and stir fried with other veggies and in soup). Zucchini bread is good but frankly doesn't use that much zucchini. Suggestions?

My veggie photos have become famous by the way. I shared them with the health advocate at work and she used one in her web update of the fruit and veggie challenge we did for the month of May. The photo wasn't credited to me however, so I'm not famous, just my photo.

The boys in my life.

2007-06-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

My 4 leggeds are all girls, with the exception of Max. Max is my 15 year old cat who has this nasty habit of "making love" to the pillows on my couch, whose fur is matted most of the time and just falls out when I try to brush him (he currently has a huge bald spot on his side from such a session), who refuses to stand up to the youngster kitties who taunt him incessantly and who therefore spends as much time outdoors as I allow him (the 2 youngsters don't go out).

I found Max fifteen years ago while I was house sitting at a farm near Carver, Oregon. He was a small kitten at the time and so covered in gas and oil that I didn't even realize he was part white. He and I have gone through some serious bonding over the years as he nearly died several times. His liver is shot (no doubt from the oil he was exposed to as a baby) and consequently he has had many near death moments (thankfully at the time he was most sick I had a close friend who was a veterinarian). Previous roommates have referred to him as the "crack baby" because he does weird stuff and is completely different than most cats.

Max has been ecstatic this past week because I've been spending time out in the yard with the laptop and a book so he can hang out with me. But now it seems Max is no longer the only man in my life.

Enter Barry White...a very straggly creme cat who has been a stray in my neighborhood forever (I've been here 7 years and he was here before me). The fact that he has survived all these years is amazing. He is definitely worse for the wear, he has some sort of infection in his eyes and probably a respiratory issue (my vet said that Max's immunity is probably pretty high with his age so I'm not too worried about them being together outside) and I have said for years that I was going to catch him, get him some help and release him again. Well the time is coming closer.

I've been feeding him in the morning and night when I feed my other babies. He waits for me in the morning and he meets me on the front porch when I come home from work. He breaks my heart because he is so afraid (I can only get within a few feet from him) and so hungry and in such bad shape. I need to find a vet who will deal with a homeless (I don't think he is feral...I get the idea he once had a home) and perhaps not so cooperative cat and I need to sell some stuff on eBay to raise $500 bucks or whatever it will probably cost to get this guy fixed up but the time is coming soon, Barry, very soon.

Goodbye to Freedom

2007-05-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

Thanks to another lovely fallout of the Patriot Act, today my friend Darren will be sentenced and no doubt convicted as a terrorist (their words, not mine).

How can a country label people who disagree with the government, terrorists, just because they are environmental or animal rights advocates? In the U.S. you can bomb an abortion clinic and kill someone and not be convicted as a terrorist. You can beat a person to death out of hatred of their skin color or their sexual preference and not be convicted as a terrorist. But if you burn an SUV out of frustration with the destruction of the environment you are a terrorist. Or (in Darren's case) release wild horses that the government rounds up to auction off (often to then be sold for slaughter so that ranchers can graze their cattle for practically free) you are considered a terrorist.

With this gross misuse of the term "terrorist" none of us will ever be safe.

Don't buy into the Green Scare propaganda. Support eco-saboteurs before you lose your freedom of speech. You may not agree with the actions they took to defend the earth and the animals but they are not terrorists.

***Update: Darren was sentenced to 37 months (the amount of time the prosecution requested). The judge chose not to include the terrorism enhancement on Darren's sentence (three of his co-accused have received it and sentencing continues through June 5th for the remaining defendants) due to being unable to come to a strong conclusion about his particular situation. Darren will likely be sent to either Sheridan or Sea-Tac Federal Prison where it is expected he will be classified as a medium or minimum security prisoner.

I can name that tune...

2007-05-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

I accomplished a lot this weekend...slept a lot, watched several movies, spent time with the ma (she turned 67 yesterday), played with the four leggeds, cooked a few meals, hung out with the gals...but mostly I bought and listened to music. I went through my cd collection and took out a big stack of recordings that I don't even know how I acquired. Went to Everyday Music (nearly the only place I get music because they have the best selection of used), traded in the old and got some new including Bridging the Distance, a collection of local bands remaking old classics (Christopher Walla from Death Cab for Cutie) doing Shattered Dreams (Johnny Hates Jazz) for instance. The other two cds I bought there were indie artists as well Helio Sequence (Com Plex) and Bright Eyes (Cassadaga), although I bought both of them used so I don't get too many points for supporting lesser known artists.

My other cd purchases this weekend all stemmed from Goodwill's as-is store. Cds cost $1 each there unless of course you hide them in with the rest of your stuff and therefore get them for $1.59/lb. I'm not generally passive aggressive enough to do that but from time to time...

The cds I got there were Frank Sinatra's Christmas Cabaret, soundtrack from "There's Something About Mary" (picture Jonathan Richman standing under the tree with his guitar), the Grease soundtrack (you may roll your eyes at this point but it remains one of my favorite soundtracks of all time, Dana Lyon's "Cows with Guns" (Dana is based in Bellingham, by the way), Lucinda William's (World Without Tears) and the Oasis double cd recording "Stop the Clocks."

So if you catch me humming "Grease is the word" under my breath you'll know why.

2007-05-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

This literally just gives me the chills. Ironically enough I was just purusing the Vegetarian Shoes website this morning and eyeing a pair of clearance Dr Martens and am now so thankful that I didn't buy them! Guess I'll go with my more radical idea of the Airseal.

Screw you Doc Martens. This was a tasteless, insensitive, disgusting thing to do.

He’s the one
Who likes all our pretty songs
And he likes to sing along
And he likes to shoot his gun
But he knows not what it means
Knows not what it means

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y...night

2007-05-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

Saturday night my next door neighbors hosted a movie night under their carport. This wasn't just any movie night. This was a 3-D movie night on a old school silver screen with projectors and Super 8 and 16 mm films (thanks film dork Ned!).

The 3-D movies we watched were condensed versions of "Creature from the Black Lagoon" and Vincent Price's "The Magician." Not only was this event super funny (we should have turned off the sound and just made up dialogue because we were all yelling comments at the screen the entire time) it was also enlightening because in addition to the 3-D movies we also watched vintage education films from the early 60's about women in the workplace, airports and an anti-drug film narrated by (a much younger but still sporting the same moustache) Jesse Jackson.
The 3-D effect sometimes works better than others but it was always hilarious, if nothing else just for the comic effect of looking at each other.
The word at the end of the evening was there should be an outdoor movie night every month. I for one am all about that idea...what can be better than movies with friends, beer, a theater that is dog friendly and a very short walk home?

Martha

2007-05-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

Went to an ATC swap last night. For the unaccustomed, ATCs are artist trading cards...2.5" X 3" inch miniature pieces of art created originally as an artistic calling card. There are communities all over the world that create and trade these pieces, some online and some in person. Portland has a few different in person swaps and I went to one of them last night at Powell's.

The crowd (and consequently the cards) at these gatherings vary. Last night I really bonded with the folks and the art (funny how those two things generally go together). You simply pass your notebook to someone at the table ask if they would like to trade and if they are willing (which they nearly always are) you take a card from their collection as they take one from yours. Last night I traded with everyone and in fact swapped three with one woman and two with another.

It's a great feeling handing someone a book full of little treasures you toiled over and hearing their reactions. When you create art alone at home you don't get that kind of feedback. So the appeal of the swaps is the reinforcement that you in fact are not wasting your time cutting and pasting. The other draw is that you get to leave with a stack of other people's cards (and hopefully ones that you love).

The cards I traded for last night are some of my favorite yet. There were several cat ones which I snatched up as fast as possible, one featuring a pirate cat with a particularly bad attitude and dirty mouth. But the card that rocked me the most was one titled "Innovator?" and features a collage of a dress form with a clock (for those close to me you probably know I have a "thing" for old clocks), an image of Martha Stewart and the words "You discover treasure where others see nothing unusual." Sigh. So perfect for me. As I told the artist who made it, "This card chose me." She had made it nearly a year ago (July 2006) and it had been lingering in her notebook for someone to choose it, apparently waiting for me, The Alt Martha.

Duh.

2007-05-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

The dairy council is finally being required to quit lying to the American public. It's about time. The dairy council has long been the funders of nutrition guidelines (look at old promotional posters from elementary schools and you'll always see "Published by the American Dairy Council" at the bottom which makes as much sense as McDonald's sponsoring education programs in elementary schools (How many Big Macs can Jane buy with her $3.00 allowance?) which really happens by the way.

Frankly, when I became vegan and gave up dairy I lost weight (although as my father is fond of saying...as long as beer and fries are vegan she'll look the way she does...thanks dad). And please don't comment with "I could NEVER give up cheese!" It's probably the most annoying (and most frequent) comments vegans hear besides "How do you get your protein?"

It's a verb, it's a noun, it's a magazine.

2007-05-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

I've quoted my friend Amy in my blog several times and while she isn't a fan of blogs, I think she likes being quoted here. The most quotable thing Amy said while we were hanging out for happy hour at Alberta Street Brew Pub last night? Well Amy turned to me at one point and said "Are you gonna blog about that?" And the answer is, yes.

A few weeks ago while eating brunch at The Paradox Cafe (ah, Paradox, the cafe where I once ate three meals in one day -- an animal rights group I was involved with had an office across the street and we would hold our "action planning" meetings there as well as our "after action" follow up sessions and then the late night meal together because we didn't have lives outside of the movement) Amy mentioned that she wasn't happy at her job (being the development coordinator for a foundation that funds LGBQT issues). I asked her what she really wanted to do and she simply stated, "I want to work for Bitch magazine."

While I was familiar with the magazine (I've read it on and off for years...love it, respect it) I didn't realize they were actually a non-profit organization (and therefore had a need for a development director) and I also didn't realize that they had left their home in San Francisco and moved to Portland.

Fast forward to a few days later...I got an email from Amy saying, "I have a new job! I'm going to be working at Bitch magazine."

Just like that! Talk about realizing your dreams! She didn't even know there was a position open when she told me she wanted to work there.

Well, Bitch magazine (Feminist response to pop culture) now has a development coordinator that kicks ass and is so perfect for that position. And because I believe so strongly in both Amy and the magazine I have found myself having a renewed sense toward organizing with non-profits. We met last night to discuss action plans for future fundraising events for the magazine and for the first time in a very long while I was excited and motivated (and thankful to feel that way) to work towards a better world.

Maybe the reason for this is because of the lack of feminism in our culture lately? When I was growing up I wasn't satisfied that the female pop culture role models were the sisters from Heart and Stevie Nicks. I wasn't satisfied that strong women were expected to wear makeup and high heels. At this time I'm not satisfied that music is still filled with sexism, that women are still beaten and killed daily by their loved ones, that porn with "barely legal" girls is one of the most popular downloads on the internet (a man was recently arrested for raping his young daughter and then posting the video online). I'm not satisfied that I get labeled prude for questioning the glamorization of Bettie Page (how many saw the movie about her and were disappointed in the fact that the movie focused on how shitty her life was instead of showing more T & A)? I'm disappointed that my neighborhood association chooses to accept advertising from the local strip club yet rage forward in a campaign against Wal-Mart (yes the latter is bad, but is advertising a strip club building up the community?).

So, I think that Bitch magazine is as relevant now to our society as it ever has been and perhaps more importantly, it is as relevant to my own well being at this time and place in my life as it has ever been.

Okay, this time I really need help.

2007-05-15T06:26:00.000-07:00

My veggie delivery came yesterday. Thanks to you folks I deduced that the mystery fruit previously delivered was in fact a mango (and I have since deduced that I'm not on the mango train like everyone else is...similar feeling to not being on the coffee train...guess I'm just different). Thanks to a few suggestions I have been able to put to use the leeks I've received (although I have requested to have substitutions in the future...I've eaten as many leeks as I need to for the moment...same with pears).

Now I need more suggestions. The "odd" (meaning new to me in a big way) item included in my current week's supply is about two dozen fava bean pods. My oh my, they just look like green peas for a giant. Martha has a recipe on her site using fava bean flour to make vegan brownies but I am quite sure the process of making whole beans into flour is a bit out of my reach. So...bring it on...what do I do with these puppies?

The other veggies and fruits included were: a portabella mushroom, 15 strawberries, several crimini mushrooms, radishes, 2 bulbs of garlic, snow peas, 5 apricots (I've never eaten a fresh one but have consumed many of the dried variety), 1 mango, 1 cucumber, 3 red pepper, 4 oranges, 6 apples, 3 onions (I could use some suggestions for the onions, like maybe decorating with them, because I have eaten so many onions these past few weeks that the aroma is seeping from my pores), 3 bananas, 4 tomatoes, 5 of the cutest Italian squash ever (who knew squash came that small?), 1 head of broccoli, 11 carrots, kale, spinach, lettuce and salad greens.

So far my great victories with these deliveries has been an apple pie and a vegetable pot pie. Both quite delicious and soon to be made again (although I didn't get any potatoes this week which I need for the pot pie and it seems silly to buy more veggies to use up the veggies I have). This week I plan on finishing up my leeks with the help of a recipe from my friends Rose and Teagen for steamed leeks with a tahini/mustard sauce. I also plan on attempting carmelized carrots.

I am particularly proud of myself for sticking to my food delivery these past few weeks as money has been quite tight due to unexpected vet bills (Twinky seems to have recovered fine, thanks for asking), expected tax obligations and semi-expected dental bills. But alas, I didn't take the easy way out, cancel my $45/week delivery and eat crap cheap food for two weeks. Instead I sold some Lite Brite pegs, Betty Spaghetti dolls, an old Avon ring my mom bought in the 70's ($61!), vintage little girl's perfume pins, etc. on eBay to raise funds for food. Yay for people who buy stuff they don't need.

I didn't even see it coming.

2007-05-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

I did the Mother's Day thing with my mom on Saturday because my brother had scheduled to do stuff on Sunday (our family isn't one of those that do things together) so I had the day to myself. I know, I know...all you mom's out there would have appreciated a day alone yesterday over whatever gifts you received, right? Sorry to brag, ha ha.

Well, I've been without my creative muse for awhile now. And it has been killing me! I'm generally not one who ever gets stumped when it comes to creating little pieces of craft but despite many efforts I wasn't able to make anything I was satisfied with.

Enter yesterday. I was inspired. I spent the entire day sanding, painting, gluing, cutting and feeling more like myself. I completed four different projects for friends that were all way overdue (although none known about by the recipients so it was just my self determined deadlines), thoroughly contemplated a fifth (which is still in the "I don't know what to add to it" phase), as well as reorganized my collection of videos and cds. If only I could always be so productive. Apparently eating cookies and staying in my pajamas all day is the trick!

The rearrangement of my media collection was long overdue. I used to have all items in one cabinet but it had long been outgrown so instead I took all the magazines out of one cabinet (I rarely buy them but acquire my mom's discards often) to dig through to be sold on eBay (yes, you can sell anything there), put my cds in the cabinet and left the vhs tapes (and my few dvds) to the original cabinet. Storage of these items can be a pain and an eyesore and being the decorating diva that I am, a proper home for them is necessary.

The video tapes hide behind a floral tapestry in a book shelf and the cds are in a cabinet that was once someones potting cabinet.

Now I just need to do the dishes, mow the lawn, put away several loads of laundry, change the sheets on my bed, clean the cat box, sweep, dust, water the plants...why is that no matter how productive we are there is still so much left to do?

Progress?

2007-05-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a big day in Oregon. Some politicians stepped up and finally accomplished what should have happened a long time ago (well, preferably we would live in a world where equality wouldn't have to be legislated)...granting gays and lesbians a future hopefully filled with more peace, dignity, respect, freedom and equality.

But alas, on that same day I had to take one of my coworkers aside and explain to him that several comments he made yesterday about one of our teammates were not appropriate (our coworker is gay). So, while laws may be in place we will no doubt need to continue calling people on the bullshit they say.

It's what's for breakfast.

2007-05-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is funnier, the picture or the comments.

My 3 day weekend.

2007-05-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

I am taking Monday off from work. No particular reason. I've just been getting a tad burned out lately and a few weeks ago thought it would be nice to have an extra day to putz around the house so I scheduled a vacation day.

So much for the idea of some extra free time. My vacation day has turned into what looks to be "super errand day" instead.

At 10:00 a.m. Monday morning my car has an "appointment" that I must be present at. Later that afternoon I am escorting my mother to her "appointment" and in the early evening I am escorting my dog to her "appointment." Apparently my appointment is the task of assisting others with their appointments.

Far be it for me to complain however. I much prefer the idea of playing the role of chauffeur (Driving Miss Twinky comes to mind) than actually having any of these "appointment" procedures being done to me.

The first appointment is for my poor little car. The poor little baby that has just over 1,200 miles on it is already in need of some cosmetic surgery. Sure I owned my beater Honda for 6 years and never got so much as a door ding on it but I own this lovely brand new cutie and within weeks she has already received some unsightly blemishes on three different parts of her body.

For the attentive readers who might be shocked and outraged due to my referencing my car as one with a sexual identity -- in this case "she" -- yes, it was me who has made it oh, so clear in the past that I find it a bit misogynist to name cars and boats and other inanimate objects after women. I still feel that way. I just really, really like my new car and referring to her as an "it" in this particular context, well, just seems cold.

The first incident happened a couple of weeks ago when I drove ALL THE WAY OUT TO ST HELENS (which I put in caps because it is a lot further away from Portland than I realized) to see a horse that one of my co-workers just adopted. When I arrived at her and her husband's farm her three dogs, big dogs, surrounded my car excited about a visitor. This set off the security alarm in my car (namely a Corgi named Twinky). Well, the alarm in my car set off the security alarm on the farm (namely a Boxer named Cinnamon, a Rottweiler named Zeus and a cattle dog named Chloe) which in turn caused the alarm in my car to go off again which escalated the alarm on the farm (specifically the portion of the alarm named Cinnamon). By this point I had managed to get out of my car safely but I was in no position to protect it. The quite large and intimidating looking (I grew up with a Boxer so I know they are complete love bugs but boy can they look fierce) dog proceeded to jump up on both sides of my car as well as the rear, leaving scratch marks everywhere she went. The owner of the dog was 9 months pregnant (I say was because the alien from her body has since revealed itself) so she couldn't move fast enough to stop it and I was temporarily left unable to move both from a personal fear perspective as well as that moment forever memorialized in my brain in slow motion "Not my car! Oh, man not my car!" After nearly every angle of my car had been assaulted we were finally able to turn off both of the alarms. Apparently I need one of those talking alarms that instead of saying "Step away from the car" in a deep masculine voice, says, "Bad dog. No! Sit! Stay!"

Just days later my dog, my car and I visited the dog park just down the street from my house. This is a park that few know about so it is nearly always free of dogs. And yes, it is very close to my house so I could have walked there but Twinky and I were in the midst of errands and much like fast food, it was just more convenient to drive there. I spent a good 45 minutes or so talking to a guy who was playing ball with his dog. Yes the guy was cute and (seemingly) nice and I stayed way longer than was necessary to tire my dog, and alas the guy was married but hey, it does good for the soul to remind myself there are nice guys out there somewhere (even if they are married to someone else).

As we were leaving the park his dog ran towards my car. The back hatch was open and the guy yelled for his dog not to jump in. I wasn't particularly concerned as the inside of my hatchback is well protected with several layers of blankets just for that purpose. What I wasn't prepared for was the dog first going to the passenger door (apparently he is a front seat kinda dog) and jumping up to look through the window ("Oh, what nice upholstery," he might have been thinking). Then the dog proceeded to jump into my car from the back and I forgot about the front door because I was tyring desperately to discourage the dog from jumping into my front seat (which is not so well protected from the likes of canines). At this point the guy finally got control of his dog and was more concerned with whether or not his dog had dropped his ball in my car. Perhaps he was embarrassed, perhaps I was reluctant to yell at the guy because he was cute, I don't know...but the matter was more less dismissed. It wasn't until I got home that I saw that "Adler" had put a six or seven inch scratch down my passenger door (just below Cinnamon's previous work which in retrospect seems minor) similar to the work of a teenager with a key on a late night vandalism spree.

Since that time I figured out where the guy lives (thanks to the several years of my life dedicated to activism, being a informational stalker comes rather easy to me) and wrote him a letter indicating that I was going to be getting an estimate to send to him for the repairs. Well, he called yesterday and left me a message. To put it mildly, I am no longer a fan of this man. In fact, I am on the cusp of actually wishing him physical (or at least financial harm). He claims he is not going to pay for it, in fact he denies the door jump incident even happened. Oh, yes, you Adler's dad, just looked like you had so much money that I thought I would drive up and down the street looking for your car (I wonder how many dog scratches I might find on it and if I could match up the prints to the one on mine?) just to get you to pay for marks on my car that I probably put there when I drunkenly ran into an abandoned grocery cart. You're right, my mistake, please forgive me.

I'll be sending him the estimate anyhow, as well as a small claims court notification if he doesn't pay. Yes, the fees for filing the papers will probably cost more than the repair of my car but I'm a woman of principle.

Posession is 9/10ths of the law.

2007-05-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

I stole this from one of my new favorite blogs who stole it from someone else.

Mahatma Meets Mary Poppins

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Today

2007-05-03T06:47:00.000-07:00

It's rainy outside which makes me want to nest. I love the rain but mostly when I can be inside looking out at it. There are so many things I would rather do than go to work.

Make a meal...

Read my book (currently halfway through Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland)...

Make pillows for friends...

Take a nap with the furries...

Or list salvaged items on eBay...

or go see my friends Kara and Robert who gave birth to Jacob Allen yesterday...

But alas, I am the dutiful employee who appreciates the paycheck every two weeks so off to work I go.

Oh, I have so had enough.

2007-05-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'll admit to the fact that I watched American Idol last night (in my defense it was the first time this season watching it all the way through and I got off of work yesterday at 2 p.m. so by 8 p.m. I had already accomplished two loads of laundry and listing a dozen items on eBay). Frankly it was Jon Bon Jovi night so all the contestants (ah, I mean, pop culture drones) performed (or at least attempted) rocker style and I enjoyed listening to them. In case you are a fan of the show, my opinion is that Blake knocked it out of the park! I'd do that guy in a second baby! Frickin' awesome performance. But my real point in bringing this up is that the other special guests on the show (via satellite anyhow) were none other than George and Laura Bush joking around about whether or not he should sing and thanking the American public for helping to raise 70 million dollars for Bono's chosen charity project . As if stupid ass Bush had anything to do with it? That guy has got a lot of nerve. Perhaps if he wasn't out spending all of our tax money on war and killing people and stuff then people like me wouldn't be so burned out thinking about the state of our country and would therefore have more energy to do something with our evenings rather than watch a stupid show on tv where the president sticks his nose into something he has nothing to do with. It felt so much like 1984 I couldn't stand it. As if I wasn't embarrassed enough watching AI already, he came on. I had to hide my head under the covers.

Gotta love it.

2007-05-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

This morning I was researching recipes for things to do with Kiwi as I got four in this weeks shipment of produce. The first one I found was all I needed. Melt chocolate, dip kiwi in it. Works for me.

I got one piece of fruit that I have been unable to identify. It's a big piece (softball size), a little yellow, a little green, a little red. A little squishy. Any ideas? It is the large piece of fruit in the middle of the picture. If nothing else I can mix it in with my morning smoothie. However, my work is having a veggie/fruit challenge (document how many you eat...aiming for at least 5 a day but ideally 7-9) and I'd like to actually name the item that I am using to record my daily intake.

May Day

2007-05-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

My boss is letting us leave work early today so that we can get home before the May Day protest begins. Jobs with Justice is estimating 10,000-45,000 people will gather in downtown Portland in solidarity for labor, dignity and equality. A memo was sent out to the entire Portland staff at our company so that folks could prepare. I like to think it is so we can leave to protest but I know that isn't the real reason.

People are afraid of activists. I don't get that exactly because revolutionaries aren't scary to me, just the cops that try to restrict their freedoms.

Regardless, on this day of solidarity I offer you comic relief. Cows with Guns has been an animal rights tradition for many years and now there is a video that even omnivores can appreciate.

Kittens and the women who love them.

2007-05-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

It is kitten season. Tons of homeless four legged pure pieces of preciousness (can you tell that I'm biased) who were brought into this world accidentally and that deserve love just as much as anyone are looking for homes. Here are two for example looking for someone to open their homes to them.

I have three cats who share my home with me at this moment. It seems like a ton to some but to me it is an easy number and an easy combination. Max is 15 and pretty settled in his ways. Jingles is about 7 (humane society girl so hard to know for sure) and a pain in the butt in the best possible way. Zoey is going to be 4 in August and has turned into a lovely little girl. We all enjoy each other a lot and play together and sleep together (I know, I know...I need to get a life). Cats are my very favorite thing on earth. Consequently I always want more. Especially babies. So I have entertained adopting the two little tabbies in the pictures. In my heart I know they could fit into my life just fine and I always told myself that when I had my own house I would always have as many pets as I could house because they all deserve to have a place called home.

The reaction I get from others about this topic vary but most revolve around suggesting I don't do it, even to the extreme of telling my specifically not to do it, no questions asked. A few others (and a very few) tell me to go for it. I find it fascinating that people have such strong opinions about this. Why do folks care how many pets I have? If I'm good with it, and the pets aren't suffering isn't that all that matters? Regardless, I have decided to not adopt these lovely darlings (with the assumption that they will of course find homes with someone else...although that will be two less kittens who will get adopted from other sources). My decision was made more out of fear of being a cat lady spinster the rest of my life (why is it men have trouble with cat ladies?) than it was because it seems like too many.

So do your part. 3-4 million cats and dogs will be euthanized this year alone (and yet how many more will be brought into the world by breeders so that people may custom order their pets similar to the way they order coffee? "I'll have a female chocolate labradoodle easy on the attitude, please."). Spay and neuter, tell other people to, offer to pay for it for them if you think money is the issue, take in the stray cat in your neighborhood even if it is only long enough to get it spayed and neutered. Do something.

Things to live for...

2007-04-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

A rockin' cool Canadian friend of mine has a great blog. My favorite part is a list of things she lives for. I think it's a good idea to keep a list like this, to help remind us of good things when we are depressed about all the bad.

My dog is a buckethead.

2007-04-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

Poor Twinky the kid. She has an eye injury that won't heal. I'm told it's a problem Corgis have. I guess if they can't break their leg (hard to break something you don't have) they have to have some sort of issue. This afternoon I took her to a veterinary optometrist who numbed her eye, used a metal clip to hold her eye open (reminiscent of A Clockwork Orange), peeled off a layer of tissue with a swab, stabbed her eye over and over again with a needle (theory being that the divots would give the new cells something to hold onto) and now she has to wear her E-collar for the next ten days. She acted like a doll, I was a squeamish wreck.

Such a good pup.

Still practicing Earth Day

2007-04-24T20:52:00.000-07:00

My clothing green rating today: 3.75. Hemp/recycled/organic shoes, organic cotton socks, second hand recycled belt, second hand shirt, bra and earrings. Only my pants and jacket have no green value.

Everyday is Earth Day in my world but I love hearing mainstream folks take a little interest, even if it is only once a year.

My friend Amy and I spent Earth Day with David Sedaris. I laughed so hard I almost forgot about the diminishing ozone.

Rabbit food.

2007-04-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

I've eaten healthier this week than I have at any other time in my life. I have amazed even myself. This home delivery of produce (which now contains fruit as well as veggies since I have upgraded my bin) has been very benefical. For instance today I had a homemade smoothie with freshly squeezed orange juice, mango and frozen raspberries as well as a bowl of oatmeal (more nutritious than you might think). My mid morning snack was celery with peanut butter (peanut butter being an excellent protein source). Lunch consisted of a Tofurky (pre-cut slices are the only way to go and I prefer the peppered variety) sandwich with Tofutti cheese slice (not healthy but I like it), tomato and lettuce along with a salad containing radish, carrots, red onion, snow peas, mixed greens, celery and diced Field Roast (a lentil based fake meat that rocks) and a mock chicken meat (both good protein sources as well). My mid afternoon snack was going to be a Larabar (raw nutrition bar with nuts and fruit as the only ingredients and fascinatingly good) but instead I'm going to eat the diced apple and pear I brought. Tonight I have a lot of things to do so dinner will be light, probably the left over dinner from last night which was new potatoes with chard, garlic, carrots, celery, mushrooms all sauteed together and frankly way better than I even expected. I had forgotten how much better fresh vegetables taste!

So, this week of nutritionally sound eating has given me a base for recognizing how I can feel when I eat right (in other words when I don't eat tons of sweets, drink alcohol or soda). It's not a bad feeling, I must say. Of course I am more than ready to blow it to Hell this weekend but this is progress. All of the prepackaged food (I may be vegan, but historically I have been a junk food vegan) that I would normally consume still sits in my freezer and on the shelf in my pantry which shocks me. The $45 a week I am spending on the fresh, mostly local, organic produce is making it's way into my heart.

It's easy being green.

2007-04-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Not to toot my own horn or anything (and what a cute little horn it is) but check out #7 on the top 100 green cars. And you might as well notice while you are at it that the list price (much more than what I paid) is half of a hybrid. Just buy a Yaris and give $10K to your favorite green charity.

It's easy being green.

Peeps Research

2007-04-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

So Easter has come and gone and I nearly forgot. As an atheist vegan, Easter doesn't hold a lot of appeal for me. I like rabbits (and chicks) but don't like that many people buy them for their kids this time of year and I can't eat most of the candy either. The one thing I like about Easter though is memory of Peeps. Some of the best sites I have ever found on the internet are ones related to Peeps. There used to be one called "Peeps gone bad" which had Peeps hijacking a pink plastic Corvette leaving Barbie and Ken behind. That same website had a story about Godzilla versus a Block of Tofu that doesn't seem to be available anymore either. My favorite Peeps product this year (known by observation from looking at the shelves...I can't eat them because they aren't even vegetarian, much less vegan) and what I believe to be a brilliant marketing technique is the "Paint Your Own Peeps" which come in white and have food coloring kits inside to decorate them as you wish. I can just imagine craft circles decorating their marshmallow candies in intricate fashion, similar to one particularly graphic evening I had with roommates years ago while frosting snowman cookies.

So in spirit of the holiday I offer you this link. This website has been tested on Peeps.

good to go

2007-04-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

You know those times when you are listening to a record and the music just grabs you and makes you a part of it? I am having one of those moments. I bought a copy of the The Hot Rock by the no longer Sleater-Kinney for a buck over the weekend and haven't taken it out of the player since. It makes the cats hyper, it makes me dance and bob my head up and down (the dog seems unaffected by it although she gets excited when I dance). I have this record on cassette and I haven't listened to it in years. Seven or eight years ago my friend Kattie and I took it on a trip we made driving across the country to my friends Eric and Heather's wedding in the Maine woods. When you drive across country you tend to bring a lot of music and think "Oh, this will be plenty" and you are wrong. The cds we took on that trip will forever be burned in my memory because we played them over and over and over. This was one of them. As was Elliott Smith (the Kill Rock Stars one with Southern Belle on it as well as XO), Mazzy Star, Citizen Fish, Radiohead, Grant Lee Buffalo, Lois (Bet the Sky) and others. There are many moments of that trip where I can't tell you what day it was, what state we were in or how fast we were going but I remember the moment of listening to each song on the disc. By the end of the trip we both knew the lyrics to nearly every song on every cd. We sang along more than we talked to each other (no matter how close you are as friends, driving day in and day out across the country with no money for a hotel room it gets very difficult not to be sick to death of the other person). We created routines. Elliott Smith was played often throughout the day and was mandatory at night when we were tired and one of us would sleep while the other drove because he was so intoxicating and distracted you from the long stretch of highway.

I get into routines with my music. I have a few cds stacked on top of my stereo and tend to just go back and forth between a few until I clean house, file them all away and then slowly develop a new stack. Picking up random discs I find at thrift stores is a good way of remembering old friends, road trips I've taken and memories that have taken a back seat to current events.

Mushrooms, the other white meat.

2007-04-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

My veggie guy and I kissed and made up so I'm back in love with him again. He gave me extra veggies today to make up for the few that were lacking last time (and the majorly poor service that he has since apologized for profusely actually leaving me feeling a bit silly for being so uptight about it in the first place). I came home to a box on my porch tonight that was so heavy I almost couldn't lift it. Inside I found: mustard greens, 4 tomatoes, 4 onions, 3 small heads of lettuce, 3 beets, 2 heads of garlic, 3 small avocados, 1 bag of mixed salad greens, 2 lbs of carrots, basil, a head of celery, a bowl full of snow peas, 3 leeks, 3 zucchini, a cucumber, a bunch of mini asparagus, 5 little sweet potatoes, 20 small purple potatoes and a small bag of mushrooms. Whew!

I made it through all of the veggies last time except for a little of the lettuce. I roasted the leeks with other veggies (including a turnip which didn't do anything for me so the dog ate it) and I liked the result. I think I'll try doing the soup this time. The only veggies in my box that I don't regularly consume are the beets (like em just never buy em), mustard greens (will go in with the salad greens) and basil. I already composted the basil because I don't do pesto and didn't want to bother with it. Now it just comes down to eating things which have the shortest shelf life first so nothing goes to waste.

And what did I have for dinner you ask? As silly as it seems, I had a few stalks of celery and a bowl of cereal. I'm doing this dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner thing (the theory being that your heaviest meals are in the first part of the day) and by the time I finished preparing all of the veggies for storage (clean and drain celery for example and store in fridge in an open plastic bag) it was a little late for dinner anyhow (I try to be done eating by 6:30 p.m.).

If I am going to continue this box of veggies delivered to my door for $30 bucks thing (and I fully intend on doing so) I am going to have to do something about this damned rose bush that stands between me and my composter however. Yesterday I was trying to sneak by and the bush grabbed hold of my hair. I was convinced I was going to have yell for my neighbors to come release me but managed to yank myself free.

At Norma's Request.

2007-04-08T08:45:00.000-07:00

Went to as-is (discount Goodwill store...last stop for goods before the landfill) yesterday. It was the first time I had been there in about 6 weeks (which is forever for me) as I have been more interested in organizing what I have already purchased than buying more. I had a mission yesterday though as I was looking for a doll sized bottle of water (yes, they do exist and suffice it to say I'm teasing one of my coworkers about the amount of water he says he drinks) so I used that as an excuse to go dig through bins of random items.

I spent $8.58 and came away with this: several rubber stamps (since I've redone my craft room I have already begun using my stamps way more than before, plus they sell well on eBay and Etsy), a few pages from a German music book for collage (I'll save some for you Norma), a toy waffle (to sell on eBay), a glittering glass wand thing (I collect these), a good handful or two of French word magnets, which I will add to my huge Tupperware container filled with other word magnets, an old picture of a group of ladies from the 40s or 50s with the best cat eye glasses I've ever seen, an older photo of a woman in her wedding dress, a lovely crocheted doily, several little ornamental soaps, an accounting ledger book (for balancing my bank account online), a plastic child's school pencil box (I use these to separate out different fonts of my letter rubber stamps), a foam Christmas gift attachment that I'm going to use in a shrine for my cat "Jingles," a brand new cassette tape (yes, I still make mixed tapes), a felt calligraphy pen, mechanical pencil lead (for work), a vintage Christmas ornament, a Lego Duplo race car driver (to sell on eBay), a brand new denim bag, Barbie stickers (I have a lot of Barbie stickers. Some I sell, some I use to decorate boxes of Barbie items I sell on eBay and some I keep to deface although I haven't gotten around to that yet), a never been used Seal-A-Meal and two sets of bags to share with a friend as I already have one (these are the best for crafts. My favorite is to fill with sequins and a note and send through the mail like a postcard), a brand new little book with an ink pad and pen and instructions on how to create characters out of thumbprints (of which I will undoubtedly send to a friend with a child who might appreciate receiving such an item randomly in the mail), a Flaming Lips CD, a Sleater-Kinney (RIP) CD, the cover of a vintage pattern (pattern ladies are one of my favorite craft supplies), most of a set of travel Scrabble tiles (smaller, thicker pieces of wood than the norm), random Barbie and Ken doll shoes and a GI Joe or Ken knockoff head that had been decapitated from the doll (I've been collecting boy doll heads for awhile to use in a project but I refuse to actually decapitate them myself--unless only part of their neck is connected--so I buy them as I can. I can't wait to jar those puppies up on the shelf in my craft room, ha ha), a few playing cards (for making ATCs) and a couple other little random supplies for crafts. A pretty good shopping day really. No water bottle though. So I searched through my mom's bag of Barbie food (her and I should be contestants on Let's Make a Deal where Monty Hall used to ask people if they had "blah blah blah" in their purse and if they did they won a prize, although instead of a purse it would have to be my basement and my mom's spare bedroom) and found a perfect one which tomorrow will be sewed to the hand of a certain teddy bear in a certain co-worker's cubicle while the said co-worker is at lunch.

Also ran into an old sort-of beau, (Hi Brian, if you are reading this) who I had no idea shopped at as-is. He looked really good which of course sucked because I looked really bad (had gotten up early to take the dog to the vet--infected eye from a cat scratch--and go to the laundrymat to wash my comforter). Always happens that way. Always.

It's that time of year again.

2007-04-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung which means it is now time to mow the lawn, find treasures hidden beneath the long grass like dog toys in the shape of donuts, forgotten craft projects of the previous year and wake up in the morning with hay fever and a sore back.

You are as funny as you think you are.

2007-04-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

I went to a local improv show last night, I think for the fifth time in the last six months. Perhaps I am seeking inspiration? I turn 40 in roughly 100 days or so and as many of you know I have been declaring for several years now that by the time I turn 40 I will have attempted stand up comedy. Mind you I have no desire to do this as a regular gig, I by no means expect to necessarily be good at it and frankly am not altogether sure why I started saying that I would do it but I think I just might go through with it. I believe that I have purposely told a lot of people about it so I'll feel more uncomfortable not doing it then I will find fear in doing it. I am fine with disappointing myself (I do that all the time) but I'm not overly fond of disappointing others and in fact pride myself on being reliable and trustworthy. So as the day draws nearer (I've said I would do it by the time I am 40 not necessarily when I turn 40 and of course procrastinator that I am I will no doubt hold out until the very last minute) I am starting to feel that I am walking on a beam that borders both panic and excitement.

The act of performing isn't necessarily my biggest fear. I have done a fair amount of public speaking by talking to the press as an activist and I have been interviewed on the radio more times than I can count. I did two local cable TV shows (one was literally just 20 minutes of a close up of my face talking about the fur industry--the next day after viewing that show I went out and got bangs as my forehead seemed way too pronounced) and the second was on a show where I was sitting in between a guy dressed as a butcher and another dressed as a pig. I also took two improv classes where our final project was to perform with the comedy troupe, on stage in front of a crowd. I have done numerous presentations in front of people for work as well, so standing up in front of people may not necessarily be my favorite thing in the world but it certainly isn't the drama for me that it is for most people.

I suspect the biggest motivator and fear producing element for me about trying stand up is the writing (public speaking about an ethical issue is a much easier task than expecting people to listen to you just because you think you are funny). I love telling stories (a blog for someone like me is candy), I love pointing out the absurdities of life and I like making people laugh. So since I don't have my own radio show I guess I am forced to try my hand at comedy. Time and time again I think of things that would make great comedic material and think "I should write this down!" But it isn't always convenient to whip out a pen and pencil and start writing something down while you are in the middle of a pap smear with your gynecologist. So then I got a little portable tape recorder from my mom (she used it to tape and receive messages from my brother when he was a Marine in the "first" gulf war) thinking I would carry it around with me to record my brilliant revelations as they occurred. Problem is you have a tendency to get stared at when you are in your cubicle at work whispering into a handheld recording device and on the bus there is too much risk that the person sitting next to you will be so inspired by your humor that they might steal your jokes and perform stand up themselves. So I try to just remember funny things and then write them down when I can. This has led to me losing a bunch of my material, both because by the time I can write them down, for the life of me I can't remember what I thought was so funny and secondly because little Post-It notes have a tendency to stick themselves to things they shouldn't.

My point in bringing this all up is to give you fair notice that I am indeed giving serious thought of going through with my intention. I don't necessarily know where or when or in what format (Maybe I'll just film myself and post it on You Tube? Maybe I'll rent out a theater for my five minutes of fame? Maybe I'll make you all pledge money to a particular charity like a telethon and perform one minute of comedy for every $100 raised? Maybe I'll sneak off on a Wednesday night alone and take advantage of a 3 minute open mike spot at a biker bar on 82nd?). Who knows where it'll happen, or in fact if it'll happen but consider yourself warned that I am looking for material so if I am out with you and I suddenly whip out a pad of paper and start scribbling notes or if I duck under the table and start talking into a recorder you can be assured that it is just research, I haven't lost my mind. Or maybe I have.

The problem with heroes.

2007-03-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

This morning I started my day by perusing some vegan news sites (gotta hear what's what in the daily abuse of non-human animals) and it appears Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal said a rather unappealing comment in the February edition of GQ Magazine (I don't exactly have a copy sitting on my coffee table next to the Country Living, ReadyMade or Herbivore magazine so I can't check for myself) about enjoying going to a farm and watching a pig get slaughtered. Who says shit like that? Apparently "nice guy" Jake does. That comment made me sad (because I have always bought into the "I'm just a super hunky guy who stands up for the environment and does cool arty films because I care about the way Hollywood presents certain topics, blah blah blah) which got me thinking about the danger of pedestalizing (not a word but I'm choosing to make a verb out of the phrase "to put someone on a pedestal) anyone, much less famous people that it feels like we know from their portrayals on screen and from the 15 second spot coverage on Entertainment Tonight. If it is true and he did say something like that, I bet his publicist is just shaking his or her head. Even if you do enjoy watching pigs get slaughtered (again, who says things like that?) why would you admit it publicly, especially when much of your fan base is a young, liberal crowd (hello, most vegetarians no doubt fit into that category Jake darling)? Purposely alienating a large percentage of a population for the mere sake of admitting something that your own mother probably doesn't even know doesn't make a lot of sense. So, take down your posters girls (and boys), toss out the October Sky, The Good Girl, Brokeback Mountain DVDs and begin again for the search of a hero. Once you find one you better quit reading the news and watching TV because no doubt that person will let you down as well. Instead, recognize the heroic acts in your daily life from the people that you know and pedestalize (there is that non word again) yourself by recognizing your marvelous acts rather than looking for perfection from others.

Except of course Michael Stipe and Woody Harrelson who at this point have still yet to disappoint me.

Food for Thought

2007-03-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

Last week I signed up for a weekly delivery service with Organics-To-You and today came home to my first shipment of fresh, organic, local, nutritious and beautiful vegetables.

Years ago I belonged to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) veggie service where you would "buy" a share of an organic farm and on a weekly basis go to a designated area to pick up your veggies. I liked doing the CSA because I was directly supporting and seeing and talking to the people who grew my food. I also liked it because I was getting amazingly fresh (often picked the day you get them), organic veggies, therefore eating better and even trying vegetables that I normally would never dream of purchasing. The downside of the CSA was that you had to come up with the entire amount of the season at one time (generally about $300) and one share could feed a family of three so I always had way too much food. Additionally, going to pick up the food was a bit tricky being that I ride the bus to work.

Along came Organics-To-You. This business brings the veggies to you. While at first it seemed a waste of resources to have someone bring the groceries to my house but then I decided one person delivering groceries to many makes more sense than several people making multiple trips to the grocery store. The website offers a choice of several different delivery options so you can get fruits and veggies, just fruit, weekly or semi-weekly deliveries, etc. The one I chose gets me a huge box of veggies on my porch every Monday for $30 a week.

Today's delivery included a 2 pound bag of carrots, 2 turnips, 4 purple potatoes, 2 red onions, 3 russet potatoes, 2 bulbs of garlic, 4 tomatoes, 1 head of celery, 3 leeks, a bag of salad mix, 1 bunch of red chard, 1 bunch of spinach and 2 heads of lettuce. All organic, all fresh, all local. I spent an hour or so washing and storing the veggies (I have a great book which has recommendations for proper cleaning and storing), steamed some of the red chard, turnips and carrots and ate them (drizzled with a little olive oil, Tabasco soy sauce and garlic pepper) along with a green salad with celery and tomatoes. Before you get too impressed with my dietary willpower, I should confess that I washed it all down with a root beer.

If you live in Portland I encourage you to consider this service or find a similar option near where you live. If you are like me you don't tend to buy as many fresh foods as you should and even when you do you stick to the old standbys instead of branching out. Plus, if you mention I referred you, I get a free week of veggies!

How a Corgi eats a spinach salad:

Eat all the vegetables besides the spinach, lick the dressing off both sides of the spinach, leave the spinach on the kitchen floor.

It's Spring and I'm Cleaning

2007-03-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

I've been busy. I decided it was completely nonsensical to have my den decorated with books I haven't touched in years and knick knacks that were kinda fun to look at occasionally but served as the inevitable landing pad for dust to land on while most of my craft and art supplies languished in the basement. I mean I generally only read one book at a time whereas I'm crafty all the time. More times than I can count I have thought "Oh, I could use one of those so-in-so things that I have in the basement" only to be frustrated when I couldn't find it. So last week I decided to change that. I made the decision to take out any item in my den that did not have to do with craft (with the exemption of this laptop which I use to post about crafts and my printer/scanner/fax/copier combination which I use to make prints of my craft) and replace it with art supplies.

This process has taken way longer than I expected. I worked every night last week on it, most of this weekend and I'm still not done. When I clean and organize I leave no stone unturned (I've been like that since I was a kid...my room would get completely trashed and then I would spend an entire weekend cleaning). I have sorted bags and bags of beads, sequins, glue sticks, buttons, magnets, pins, stickers, paint...and determined the appropriate container and location for each item. I have way more supplies than I can fit in my craft room so the basement will serve as an overflow area (and a workspace for the messier crafts such as making paper and mixing resin). I find the task of sorting and organizing soothing and I love looking at containers full of colorful supplies. A sense of order out of chaos and the potential for barrier free art work! This is a momentous step towards following through on an intention I have been harboring for the last six years since I moved into my house.

Completing long put off tasks is very fulfilling. So is being productive. I didn't watch tv this past week at all, neither did I even open the Netflix envelope sitting on my kitchen counter.

I'm Back

2007-03-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

I am back in Blogland. Took a bit of a break unintentually. I'd like to say it had something to do with me accomplishing some great task but the truth probably has more to do with my obsession of maximizing the value of my newly upgraded Netflix account (unlimited rentals one at a time for $9.99/month). This was my first month with this arrangement and I managed to get 6 separate tapes which is pretty darn cheap. While most people would be horrified losing that much time in their lives to the first two seasons of Dawson's Creek, I take pride in being able to juice my ten bucks as far as possible. Plus, each disc has nearly 5 hours of footage, over double what a crappy movie provides. And to think I only have three seasons left to go!

Other than hibernating in front of the 27" light every evening (after putting in a long, not too eventful day at work) nothing much is new, which might have something to do with the absence of blog posts here. From time to time I have these thoughts that I think are blog worthy (the fact that the Chinese are raising tigers in a factory farm type scenario to make them into wine for instance, or the fact that one of the saddest sights ever is to see the tears of a three year old child leaving a jail after visiting his father or a lessor depressing notation on the fact that I was an absolute green marketing ad today wearing organic/recycled/hemp shoes, recycled seat belt-belt, salvaged bike spoke bracelets and salvaged cocktail fork ring) but none so much that I have gotten around to writing about them. I am working on the art of living in the grey. That isn't as easy as it seems for me. I am much more familiar with black and white, drama, catastrophe and strife than I am merely living, going with the flow, relaxing. Sometimes I overhear a conversation on the bus with folks talking about having to attend this meeting and that meeting and how busy they are and for a moment I think I'm wasting my life away and then I remember how I spent years and years of my life spending every waking minute working to save the world, pay the rent, care for an animal, anything to avoid stopping and breathing. So that is what I am doing now. I'm practicing the art of just being. I'll leave the drama to the cast of D.'s Creek.

Out with the old, in with the new.

2007-03-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

In my personal attempt to stimulate the economy I have purchased a new car. Not just new to me, but "new, new." Though the experience was miserable and I hope not to do it again for at least ten years, I am very happy with my decision.

My old steed was really quite an impressive car. I bought it over 5 years ago from a woman who I used to work with who had bought it from a woman she used to work with who was the original owner. The car came with all of it's receipts, including the original purchase paperwork. I purchased the car for $800 which was below the Blue Book value even though it had low miles on it. Becky, the woman I bought it from, had just graduated from Naturopathic college and was moving to the East coast and it didn't make sense for her to take the car with her. I hadn't owned a car in several years prior to that and had recently bought a house further out than allowed for Tri-Met commuting multiple trips a day and I had a significant back injury that made walking difficult and biking out of the question.

Over the years I put very little money into the car and it never broke down on me. It always ran, sometimes noisily but it served it's purpose. In just under 7 hours on Craigslist, my 1986 Honda Civic was gone. Just like that. I sold it for $400 to a young guy who was a student teacher and drove up in a Honda Prelude the same color as mine but in much worse condition. He had gotten that car for free a few years prior by hauling it out of the back yard of a house that one of his coworkers had just purchased. It didn't have a title and the Washington plates were several years expired. The car had a shattered windshield (somehow still in place) and this nasty habit of not shutting off when the key was removed. Needless to say the guy was thrilled with my car. I know it went to a good home but I couldn't help but be a bit sad to look outside and see an empty driveway.

After an awful last minute attempt to buy a pick up from a dealership in Hillsboro I had a very intense conversation with my friend Greg who has known me for a long time and who I have had many car conversations with. The thing that I both love and hate about Greg is that he always tells you exactly what he thinks. Even if it makes you mad or hurts your feelings. The good thing about that trait however is that I tend to listen to what he says. He is my own personal Dr. Phil (Greg, I mean that in a good way...you don't have a mustache and you have way more hair but you do have his candor). Well I called Greg after the pick up deal fell through and I asked him why he seemed so against me buying the truck in the first place. For the next 20 minutes or so Greg called me on all of the decisions I was making regarding buying a car. Since I first saw one in the parking lot of New Season's I had decided to buy a Toyota Yaris. Yet for some reason I was being reluctant to do so. I thought it was maybe because it seemed practical but I wasn't excited about it. Greg knew my long standing love for Mini Cooper's (in fact he gave me my first toy Mini which has been followed up by half a dozen more). I told him that I didn't think I should be paying that much for a car. Greg told me that I should go for it, it would be a fantastic 40th birthday gift to myself (yes, this is the big year), that it would be reward for living frugally for so many years and reward for finding and tolerating a job in a corporate environment which would allow me to make such a purchase. After getting off the phone with Greg, I called a dealership that had a used Mini with low miles and the exact colorings that I wanted, and scheduled a test drive.
A funny thing happened when I test drove the Mini Cooper, something that was very hard for me to admit. It turns out that I like looking at Minis from the outside more than I like being on the inside. A lot more. The inside is very cramped (yes, it's a small car but is needlessly cramped) and feels much like the cockpit of an airplane. It was hard to admit that I didn't like it though as I had fantasized about it for so long. Similar to having a crush on a boy for years only to date him years later and realize he wasn't as great as you thought he was (I had this experience with the valedictorian of my high school). I placed a deposit on the Cooper before I had fully realized my feelings. I had always loved Coopers and here was one that I could more less afford so of course I wanted it, right?

From the Mini dealership I went to the Toyota dealership that had the Yaris I had been negotiating for on the internet. I hadn't actually driven one so decided I needed to before I made any decision. After all, if I didn't like driving a Cooper maybe I wouldn't like driving the Yaris either. I was wrong. Pretty much immediately I knew this was the car for me. I liked driving it, loved how roomy it felt even though it was a hatchback. Finally, I was excited by this little car that is so economical and sensible and from a company that is known for manufacturing such reliable cars.
The actual process of buying (or selling a car) is not one made for somebody like me. I'm not found of purchasing new things in general, especially not one for thousands of dollars, I don't like hanging out in dealerships with a bunch of smarmy guys (I used to be the only female employee at a Carpeteria filled with salesmen and installers so I know what smarmy men they can be), I don't know a whole lot about cars (I just know what I like and what I don't) and in this environment it is very hard to know what is a good price and what isn't which drives a bargain hunter like me nuts.

My approach was to do most of my shopping by internet. I know from past history that dealerships make a lot of profit in their financing and by all the little add ons such as undercoating and service packages so I wanted to steer clear of those. I applied online to my credit union for a loan and got a call back in 20 minutes approving me for a loan. That took a lot of the pressure off because that meant wherever I found the car I wanted to purchase the bank would pay them which essentially meant I was bargaining for a cash purchase.

The next step came in emailing all the local Toyota dealerships to see who would give me the best price. I got a huge range in offers, with as much as $1,500 difference. One dealership stood out as the guy was very pleasant and attentive (some were downright rude and condescending). When one dealership would offer me a better deal I kept going back to the first guy who was the easiest to deal with and tell him that I had received a better offer. Every time he matched or beat the price that I asked for. In the end we agreed on a price that was only $100 more than what I had initially offered and it was for a car with additional features that I hadn't realized were mandatory for West Coast vehicles. One of the best decisions I think I made though was sticking to what I really wanted. I wanted the car in black. They had the same model on the lot but in grey which I didn't like. They did have a black one but it was a model with more bonus features and a price that was $1,000 higher than I had planned on paying. I told them I wanted a black base model and that I would wait until they found me one. It only took them a day and a half. There aren't many Yaris around (Toyota marketed them heavily before they were even done with manufacturing which created a glut) so the pickings are skim but my dealership was motivated enough to have another new car sale to report to Toyota that they actually went to Eugene to get my car.

Yaris are inexpensive, especially the super duper base model that I got. Way more bells and whistles than I am used to so it feels like I'm driving a Lexus but basic nonetheless. However, the base Yaris lift back (hatchback apparently is considered derogatory in the car world) is one of the most inexpensive new cars you can buy (it sells for less than $12K). The mileage is great (it ties with the Civic and Mini for 8th best mileage of any U.S. sold vehicle. It is cute (I read one review suggesting it looked like a car that would happen if a Scion xA and a Beetle had a baby). It is fun to drive. It will last me 20 years if I want it to. I've found that there are people who buy "new" cars and people who don't. I come from the camp of people who do. My very first car when I was freshly 16 years old was new. That was the car that got me voted "Senior Girl with Best Car" my graduating year in high school and I've never lost my appreciation for being the first person to break in a car. I've only personally purchased one new car myself, a Toyota 2WD pick up in my early twenties that I eventually sold to a friend's dad because I had so many tickets I couldn't afford the insurance (oops). Buying new cars doesn't make financial sense if you are going to sell it in five years or so but even Clark Howard (a millionaire consumer advocate tight wad) supports buying a new car if you plan on keeping it a long time. And I do. I love my Yaris and it loves me.

The night I bought my car I had a lot of time to talk with my sales guy as I had to wait for the "finance" person to sign the papers and give them the money, etc. I asked him a bunch of questions that I had always wondered about the car selling business. The guys who work on the front line get minimum wage plus commission. My guy was the "internet manager" so he only deals with the inquiries that come in online. This is the preferred position. The most cars he has ever sold in a month is 31. The fewest was 13 which was February, the month in which I was buying mine, which perhaps helped me get a good deal. 65% of the inquires he gets over the internet are from women (no big surprise, what woman likes going to a dealership?). People who buy Yaris cars came to the lot specifically to buy that particular car. Toyota is one of very few car manufacturers that are actually growing. That I am a high maintenance purchaser but way more enjoyable to deal with than most.

The accidental omnivore.

2007-03-04T11:24:00.000-08:00

I've been vegetarian for approximately twenty years (I remember "coming out" to my family when I was home for college during Thanksgiving break) and vegan for about 18 years (the evolution is gradual so exact dates aren't realistic). Until yesterday I have only eaten food with meat in it twice (that I am aware of), both unintentionally. The first was at Amalfi's, an Italian restaurant in N.E. Portland on Fremont, many, many years ago. I ordered spaghetti with tomato sauce, the restaurant was dark and suffice it say I had a few bites before I realized those little chunks were not tvp (fake meat). When I confronted the waitress (actually my mom did it because I was trying not to puke) the waitress blamed it on me because I didn't request no meat. So I asked her what the difference was between the tomato sauce and the meat sauce. Her reply was that the meat sauce had more meat than the tomato sauce. I never returned to that restaurant.

The second time was when my friend Teagen and I went to Hot Lips Pizza downtown by P.S.U. We had planned to have pizza and then go to a movie. The first pizza they made had come with cheese even though we requested it without (this happens a lot). So they made us another but by that time it was getting late and we had to go to a movie so we asked them to make it to go. We took the pizza, got in the car and as I was driving I reached down, picked up a piece and took a bite. I did this without looking at the pizza because well, one, it was dark and I couldn't see much anyway and two because I was driving after all and didn't want to get in an accident. Well, I noticed something funny so I looked down and saw a piece of pepperoni on the pizza. Turns out this one didn't have cheese but it did have meat! You can imagine how frustrated we were at that moment and were really late to see the movie so we didn't have time to go back and demand a vegan pizza. The problem then became what to do with the pizza that we didn't want. Somewhat on a whim we drove by the old Baloney Joe's homeless shelter on the Burnside Bridge and placed the still warm pizza on the curb and drove away. I can imagine several people scratched their heads over this as who leaves a hot, perfectly good pizza on the side of the road with only one bite taken out of it?

Well, it happened again yesterday. I was having a late lunch at The Iron Horse restaurant on Milwaukie Avenue in S.E. Portland. I frequent this restaurant as they are quite vegan friendly (which is a rare find for Mexican food), no doubt due to their proximity to Reed College which hosts a large vegan student base. Rather than the veggie burrito or veggie fajitas that I normally get I decided to branch out and ordered a tostada. On the vegan menu they point out exactly how you should order an item to ensure it being vegan. I did as instructed. The waitress confirmed that I wanted a tostada with no dairy and no meat. When the food came I dug in as normal (the top was all lettuce and salsa so you couldn't see anything else) and with the first bite noticed something different, something other than what I had ever tasted in their beans and rice. It only took one movement with my fork to uncover one of several pieces of meat nestled inside this bed of lettuce.

I was sick to my stomach almost instantaneously. When I've occasionally had a bit of cheese or sour cream on my meal there I will sometimes scrape it off and eat the remainder of the meal, but those are byproducts of animals (with the exception of rennet in cheese which isn't even vegetarian but I'll save you that lecture for now), but certainly not the flesh of animals!

I am vegetarian because I think it is morally wrong to eat animals. Period. No questions. It isn't difficult for me to be a vegetarian because I think it is wrong to do otherwise.

Needless to say I was quite furious when this happened yesterday. The waitress, of course, offered to get me another one but when you unexpectedly have meat on your dish and you unexpectedly eat part of that meat the last thing you want to do is eat another thing out of that kitchen. The waitress made a big deal out of deducting the cost of our sodas off the bill and acted like that should be sufficient even though she charged us for my mom's meal (she had already begun eating and I couldn't exactly expect her to leave until she was finished) and the guacamole side I had ordered. As the daughter of a second generation restaurant owner I knew that the proper way for them to handle the situation was to make me a vegan tostado to go and then give that to me along with my mom's entire meal for free. This lack of customer service made me mad but I was too upset to challenge her (I will be sending a letter to the owner however as well as a request for a full refund). The waitress then offered to get me some dessert to which I had to remind her that none of their desserts are vegan. I don't entirely blame the waitress as she obviously doesn't get the whole "vegan" thing but I don't think it is too much to ask that a restaurant which has a vegan menu, and is obviously trying to gain vegetarian business, should brief their staff on what the word vegan means. When we left she said "Hope to see you again soon!" to which I mumbled, "Yeah, right" under my breath.

Lately I have been reducing the restaurants that I eat at, preferring to stick with all vegetarian ones or ones that have vegan on the menu which at least causes you to think that they know what the word is. Now I am questioning that philosophy. If restaurants that even go so far as to have separate vegan menus are still mistakenly putting meat in the food perhaps I should only be visiting all vegetarian establishments?

Ouch.

2007-02-26T08:49:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of buying a new car, so I spent a few hours yesterday preparing my old Honda Civic to be sold. As I was arriving home after washing it, it started to rain (that always happens). It was also just about too dark to take pictures and I wanted to get a pic of the car before it rained too hard and the car no longer looked clean. Therefore I ran in the house, grabbed my digital camera and ran back out the front door, down the walkway to the edge of the driveway where there was a large puddle. I jumped over the puddle and landed on my left leg which has a knee that has been giving me trouble of late. Well, it buckled and I totally bit it, landing on the cement in the street. I know it is mid February and they are predicting snow but for whatever reason I was wearing shorts. When I fell I had my camera in my hand (turned on so the lens was out) and after smashing it into the ground I was amazed to find out it didn't break (maybe that extended warranty wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all, ha ha). Well, I didn't fare as well as my camera. My knees hurt like Hell and it is a little hard to walk and very hard to sit down. Consequently I have stayed home from work today (after bragging to my boss last week that I hadn't used a sick day in the 8 months I've worked there). In all fairness it wasn't just the animals that kept me awake last night (see post below). It is hard to comfortably be under covers when your knees are smashed. Happy Monday.

Last Night

2007-02-26T08:47:00.000-08:00

I couldn't sleep very well last night. I'm sure this had nothing to do with it.

California, there and back!

2007-02-21T22:09:00.000-08:00

So I know you are all anxiously awaiting the update on my trip to San Diego to visit my friend Teagen. Here are the highlights:

Mid 70's, short sleeves, wishing I had brought shorts and flip flops, estate sale (ceramic Corgi and Siamese cat family), garage sale (books and glass paper weight), swap meet (large, heavy, old set of metal letter dies, DVDs, miniature dishes, new in package Ikea drawer pulls), drive thru vegan BBQ Bacon Burger, fries and chicken tenders, vegan black forest strudel, biscuits and gravy, vegan fish tacos with tarter sauce, spinach empanadas, home cooked roasted veggie squares, 6 foot tall Poinsettias, shabby chic bedding consulting, broccoli eating big dogs, evasive cat, a mouse in the house, Valentine's presents, vegan thrift store (CDs, books), vegan retail store (shoes, candy, vegan marshmallows, baked Tings,lip gloss), discount grocery store (cheap vegan jerky and sex lube), mail art making and mailing, ATC viewing, apartment shopping for Teagen, touring Old Town, house sitting where the ugliest cute dog Sammy lives, trying to pack everything I bought into a duffle bag plus a messenger bag, and the dreaded layover coupled with a delayed flight that made for a 7.5 hour journey home to torrential downpours.

A great trip. Yes, I shopped a lot. That is what Teagen, her mom and I do. Hunters of thrift. And eat. Due to being denied so much I find that most vegans are obsessed with food. I'm interested in the fact that Portland has such a great vegan reputation. Frankly I think San Diego kicks Portland's vegan ass!

Good Karma

2007-02-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

I had beer and pizza with my friend Matt today. He and his wife are adopting a baby from Vietnam. They chose not to have any children biologically wanting to instead give a home to an unwanted child. Apparently, unlike China, when adopting from Vietnam you are more likely to receive a boy than a girl. Matt and his wife were matched with a baby girl, however. Now Matt is just waiting for the Vietnam government to stamp the seal of approval on their application so that he and Melissa can fly over and pick up their child. The little girl was born in November and has either been in an orphanage or a foster care system since (Matt is not completely sure). The mother of the girl has an older son but cannot afford to keep both children so she was forced to give the newborn up for adoption. Hearing this story absolutely broke my heart. To think of any child spending time in an institution, away from a family is completely inexcusable in my mind. The international adoptions program in Vietnam was cancelled for five years due to allegations of human trafficking and abuse but has been allowed to resume adoptions.

I applaud my friend and his wife for choosing to open their hearts in such a manner.

Best Buy Members?

2007-02-13T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hey any Best Buy Rewards cardholders out there? They are having a presale for The Police concert tickets. I don't have a card. Makes me sad. I'm planning on seeing them in Vancouver BC and in Seattle and it'd be nice to have good seats.

Sisters

2007-02-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

My cats are a source of never ending entertainment to me. Max the oldest (14 I think) is my sleeping companion who lays right by my head for the entire night (mostly because he gets attacked by the youngsters if he roams around without me as an escort). Jingles (the very photogenic one posing in the first picture) is a demon (nicknamed "The Jinx") who will bite anyone who gets close to her yet she is the most entertaining and unique cat I've ever met. She will catch pieces of cat (or dog) kibble if you throw them to her. Sometimes she uses her paws like she is catching a pop fly at a baseball game, other times she runs across the room to chase after them squawking along the way (I don't know how to spell her noise but it goes something like "mrat mrat"). My very favorite though is when she catches the kibble in her mouth. I'm amazed at her ability to do it. She often surprises even herself...looking around from side to side wondering where the kibble went only to then realize it is in her mouth. And my youngest Zoey is the one who looks like she is mortified in the picture (she was afraid Jingles was going to smack her of which she probably did after I took the picture). Zoey was born to a feral mother under a tree in the back yard of a woman who chose to capture the kittens (she got three, the mother and one kitten got away before she got to them). She raised them and domesticated them from practically day one so Zoey was very socialized when I adopted her at 8 weeks. I'm convinced she is part Maine Coon due to her coat, the "snowshoes" on her feet and her personality. Zoey has to help you do everything whether it be making the bed or posting on your blog. These photos illustrate the sibling rivalry between these two youngsters. They aren't related but have the relationship of any other siblings...they enjoy each others company but would never admit it.

I'd rather be rummaging.

2007-02-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

My friend Norma is always bugging me to post pictures of things I buy at Goodwill on my blog. Part of me likes the idea but another part likes the secrecy of not exposing the trinkets. Partly I suppose because some of the items I buy are intended as a future gift, but mostly it is probably because I fear people will think I'm nuts. Since I am not supposed to be driving for yet another month I haven't been able to do my weekly gleaning sessions. This has meant I spend much more of my weekends at home tinkering around with miscellaneous projects rather than out finding more stuff to potentially craft with. Well Norma took pity on me the weekend before last and chauffeured me to as-is. This is a photo of what I purchased. A large piece of oil cloth (a crafters dream these days) of which I have plans for but cannot divulge here, a vintage net Xmas stocking (these are so fun to stuff with little gifts for friends), a discarded old embroidered cloth of the U.S. (this will no doubt make it's way into a pillow cover at some point), a brand new rope dog toy with tag (this one has already been put to use extensively...quite popular with the corgi), 6 Celtic rubber stamps, a cow rubber stamp, 2 brand new packages of Post-It notes (I have a tendency to take salvaged office supplies to work rather than use new bought ones), an unopened package of crystal cat eyes (these I'll probably pass on to a friend who makes things that need eyes more than I do), a blue silvery lipstick holder to hold my Merry Hempsters vegan lip balm, a package of never opened ribbon, 5 gel pens, 1 perfectly new black Sharpie (one of my favorite finds), several sheets of craft paper, several envelopes with a cute logo on them (I have a huge box full of envelopes if you ever need some), a collection of ephemera for collage purposes, a random collection of beads and googly eyes for crafts, a few old calendar pages with pictures of Corgi's to use in Twinky's scrapbook, a mini version of Erotica Universalis with some pretty naughty pictures if I do say so myself, an industrial tape dispenser (these are gold to hard core eBayers), a piece of rock painted to look like a gold nugget and a large 1940's photograph of a convention. All of this for $6.52.

Dreams and Nightmares

2007-02-13T06:47:00.000-08:00

I've been sleeping like crap lately, dreaming like crazy (although some of you are saying we always dream, only sometimes don't remember it...okay fine), crazy, crazy dreams, nightmares too, waking up crying and upset. It really is quite unpleasant. My subconscious is busy at work processing my life as it is at the moment. I had an absolutely awful one involving a research lab with monkeys and cats locked in cages together and for whatever crazy reason I was getting a tour of the lab and then the vivisector decided to illustrate their research and started carving into a cat with a giant kitchen knife right in front of me. Yeah, gruesome. I suppose that was my conscious (am I using the right word there? Or should I be using conscience? Not enough time to check out dictionary.com) processing my guilt for no longer protesting animal research and the fact that I have taken on the project of caring for a trio of feral cats living in my yard. Not to mention seeing a dead cat that morning in the road, body intact entirely but head absolutely exploded...run over by a car. And later on a walk with my dog, two dead birds.

Then, Sunday night I caught part of 60 Minutes and it was a story that will haunt me the rest of my life (that is what I get for watching tv some of you are saying). They did a story of a mentally ill 21 year old who was in jail for shoplifting and then pulling out a knife. In jail he had tried to commit suicide several times as well as flooded his cell by clogging the toilet. To keep him from further acting in ways they disapproved of the guards chained him to his bed. Chained him. His legs and feet and torso so that he was laying flat on the bed. Heavy, heavy looking chains, like what you would tow a car with. The "rules" say prisoners shouldn't be locked down more than 4 hours at a time. These guards had him locked most of the day for four days, one time for 17 hours at one time (the Feds had previously required cameras to be set up in the cells so all of this was on tape and they played it on the show). Within days they showed the guy falling down in his cell with his hands chained together and dying. He died of dehydration. This was truly the most upsetting thing I've seen in a long while and now that is messing with my sleep and dreams. I just can't get those images out of my mind. Doesn't help that I go see my friend Darren in jail on a weekly basis who is due to be transferred to a federal prison (which is way harsher than a little county jail) to finish out his sentence. Jails are horrible, horrible places that have become a place to house the mentally ill and those who just don't fit into society the way that some in power have decided they need to. They are awful places where horrible things happen (I hear stories every week that just shock me).

It's a wonder that any of us ever sleep at night much less not have nightmares that wake us crying on a daily basis.

Sorry for the downer entry, but frankly these thoughts have been heavy in my heart lately and I'm not thinking about much else.

Holidays and Curmudgeons

2007-02-12T06:45:00.000-08:00

Holy crap! I can't believe it has been three weeks since my last post! I knew it had been awhile but I didn't recall it being that long of a while.

Lately I've been crafting a lot. Collage. 2007 has apparently brought with it tons o' inspiration for me. All I can say is bring it on. I moved my craft table out from the corner of my den/craft room to the middle of my living room last week when my crafty soul sister Norma came over and I haven't put it back since. Littered on the top are dismembered 1950 magazines, bottles of salvaged fingernail polish (no, I haven't gone girly, I use them as a top coat to some of my work), sequins, glue, scissors, random construction and scrapbooking paper, Valentine's stickers, my very favorite "pattern ladies" which are torn from vintage clothing patterns and more.

I know a lot of people hate holidays, particularly ones like the one looming this week. They think it is just a marketing ticket for Hallmark stores and rose growers. Perhaps they are right but for me holidays represent just another excuse to make things for people. Gift giving is one of my favorite things in life, just following a little behind cats, chocolate, movie theaters that sell beer and on occassion, road trips. First I completed my obligation to the Valentine's Day ATC swap. For the unknowing, ATCs are old playing cards redecorated and swapped with other crafters in person and over the internet. I needed to make 4 but ended up making nine. Some cards that I felt were okay until I created the next one. I made some that I feel were my best ever (and I have made over 100 in the past three years since I discovered them). My extra ones were mostly sent out as V-Day gifts to friends.

The inspiratioin didn't pass me by this last weekend either. I spent the great part of Saturday collaging post cards that I am going to send anonymously to one of my favorite Portland indie stores. For the past few years I have talked about doing it, in fact even attempted a cigar box shrine for them once but it has sat on my shelf because it didn't work as I had hoped. One thing I have recognized is that I can't force my projects, they just have to come to me. The entire project was inspired by a little illustration I had found in a 70's children's dictionary (one of my favorite craft supplies). This led to one post card which I loved and seeing that I still had more applicable materials to work with I made another. And another. The third won't be sent because it only passes my standards on one side. I might use that side on a future project however. The point of sending things like this anonymously mainly comes from me enjoying the idea that people receive things just for the heck of it. I love the element of surprise that mail art provides. It isn't about the feedback that I receive. The benefit truly is in the giving. For my friends I don't bother trying to hide who the sender is as I think most of them would guess right away. I am somewhat known for giving good gift, as it were. Frankly that is a label I wear proudly. I'm a little baffled by it as it comes easy for me, always has but I'm recognizing that it perhaps isn't as easy for others. I have a drawer in my house (no, I'm not going to tell you which one...I don't want any peekers spoiling the surprise) where I collect things throughout the year that seem appropriate to give a particular friend or acquaintance. This has been the best idea I've come up with in ages being that, as many of you know I have a basement that could be a museum of toys, art projects, craft supplies and material scraps which often leaves me puzzled looking for "that thing I bought for so and so."

My advice therefore is to embrace the gifts that you have, regardless of what they may be. I can't cook, garden or work on cars to save my life. Buy hey if you want to do a trade for a personal shopper shabby chic decorator or handmade item maker I am your gal!

2007-01-27T10:47:00.000-08:00

So it's California or bust for me in a few weeks to visit my dearest but not nearest friend Teagen (insert the O.C. theme song by Phantom Planet here...which coincidentally I'm listening to at this very moment. Well, not that song per se, actually the fourth as California is the first track on the "The Guest" disc which is worth way more than the $1.00 I paid for it at Goodwill). "Yeah, this world needs an anthem and I hopin' the whole world will sing along."

It's another out of state trip (yay for not being so poor any longer) and I might be visiting you and the lovely city of Austin, Maggie (the same for B.C. and you Greg), in March, if work allows it AND if I can find a dog sitter. Which brings me to today's point.

Twinky, the wonder corgi, needs a sitter for a few days in February. The lucky person can either stay at my famously decorated house or take her to theirs. She is super sweet and is sure to delight friends, family members, the postal carrier, other pets, etc. She is pretty good about telling you when she needs to go out and extremely well practiced in telling you when she is hungry or wants to go for a walk. She only weighs 22 pounds so she doesn't take up much space in the bed either. Let me know if you or someone you know might be interested. I promise to be generous to the citizen willing to do a good deed. I did a ton of pet sitting in my 20's but apparently despite my efforts, my karma with that kinda thing isn't very good.

I don't get Mr. Show

2007-01-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

My current Netflix disc is the first season of Mr. Show. I don't get it. I couldn't even make it through the first episode. I'm considering just sending it back but that seems like a failure. A good friend of mine worships David Cross. I just don't get it.

What I am getting however are these veggie "chicken" nuggets from Food Fight. The David Cross look alike guy who works there (and is named Dave) said they are his favorite fake meat and that they can't keep 'em on the shelves. Now I know why. Apparently cats like it too because my cat Max just jumped up here with me and has no interest in his food but is going nuts smelling something (my breath no doubt, as the nuggets are gone).

http://www.foodfightgrocery.com/about.html

Bring on the night.

2007-01-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

It appears that my favorite band of all time, The Police, are going to reunite and go on tour. My affection for this band is equaled by no other band, with perhaps the exception being R.E.M. who run a close 2nd. I love The Police. I've listened to them since the early 80's when some girls I rode horses with introduced me to them by allowing me to borrow their cassette Walkmans while we cleaned stalls. It was at this same time that I was also introduced to The Talking Heads and U2's War album (these were very influential girls in my life as you can imagine). I would never be the same after that. I spent hours replicating the bands name on my school desk, I listened to their recordings over and over and over and over, I wore thin the Police t-shirt I bought on clearance at Spencer Gift's for 49 cents (I was thrifty even in my teens). I loved (and still love) all of their songs. Unfortunately I was never able to see them play live. For those of you who didn't grow up in Portland you might not realize that the Northwest was not always the hotbed for music that it is now. Before the explosion of grunge and the erection of the Rose Quarter, Portland rarely had big bands come here to play. The coliseum was just too small to make it worth their time and being that The Police broke up in 1986 when I was only 17, it wasn't as if I was able to travel out of state to see them.

In the mid to late 80's, after The Police had broken up, I became absolutely obsessed with Sting (consider yourself unique if I haven't forced you to watch Brimstone and Treacle with me giving audio commentary throughout). I must have listened to Dream of the Blue Turtles more than I've listened to any other recording (other than perhaps Berlin's Love Life when I was 15 or maybe Billy Joel's Glass Houses when I was a pre-teen). To this day I still think that the most amazing concert experience I ever had was seeing Sting during the Blue Turtle tour at a sold out concert in the Memorial Coliseum. The crowd was filled with more devout fans than I've ever seen (or heard) replicated since. When Sting would start to sing the crowd just took off in an amazing group chorus to the point where Sting would just quit singing and let the crowd continue for the duration of the song. It wasn't just for the "one" pop single kinda thing which happens at concerts all the time, it was for every damn Sting and Police song! It was absolutely amazing. Not too long after though it seemed that Sting did the whole Bono thing and let his ego get way too inflated. I prefer humble musicians, the introspective, wounded, soulful, tortured artist is what I enjoy...not the cocky, bare chested, sunglasses wearing rock star. So my fondness for Sting waned and I moved on.

Despite my lack of appreciation for Sting's new demeanor I never lost my affection for The Police. For the year and a half that I took drum lessons (with my dream of someday being a rock drummer permanently squashed by my lack of rhythm) my instructor and I poured over the talents of Stewart Copeland. I've owned the box set for years which has their entire catalog for years (one of only two box sets I own, the other being Nirvana). You can probably now imagine that I am more than enthusiastic about the idea of finally being able to see the entire band perform.

"There's a hole in my life. There's a hole in my life. Yeah."

"I can't stand losing, I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing you."

2007-01-24T21:53:00.001-08:00

Check this out for giggles...if the link doesn't work, go to www.youtube.com and search for "colbert wizard oz".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd_lJ33nEck

Thanks for the link Greg!